Confused Nursing student: Need advice!!!!

[Confused07]

Hi all,

Ok, so I would really appreciate some advice from anyone who would like to take the time to read my post, thanks!!!!

I am a first year, second semester Practical Nursing Student. Before deciding on going into nursing, I was very unsure about what I wanted to do.. I have always been attracted to the health care field, however, I was more interested in psychology and sociology aspects. I did some research, and found that it would most likely be easier for me to find a job and make more money after school if I took the nursing avenue.

Now, I am 5 weeks into my second semester of PN, and I have a huge decision to make. I don't know if nursing is right for me anymore. During my first semester, I struggled, I stressed, but I managed to pass with really great marks, I was very proud of myself, so I was excited to tackle second semester. However, I must say, that even during my first semester, there were alarms going off in my head, telling me that nursing just wasn't for me.

For example, my favorite courses in the program, were courses such as my elective, which focused on historical sociology. My psych course focusing on life-span development, and my english class, which helped me express myself more with writing. These classes were what I truly enjoyed the most, I actually looked forward to going to them. My core nursing courses on the other hand, I dreaded. I was so bored in anatomy & physiology, and I hated clinical. I hoped it was just a phase I was going through, but now in second semester, those alarms are coming back to haunt me.

For starters, I absolutely hate my core nursing classes again. Clinical and nursing theory are so difficult for me to endure. I am so bored. I keep thinking, who cares how big someone's BM was. I don't care. I want to know what's going on inside since people's heads. Also, during a class last week, we had a guest speaker in to talk to us. He was a doctor for 20 years, and decided to become a lawyer so that he could defend health care workers who were being sued or wrongly convicted by families of patients who had died. During the whole seminar, I noticed I was more interested in the legalities and the process of the trial and the court verdicts than I was about the medical details.

I found myself thinking things like, "well, that's a huge injustice!". I didn't care about the actual nursing details.

Last week, I walked past the sociology department in my school, on my way to the washroom during a class. A poster on helping alcoholics kick the habit and find their way in life again caught my eye. Eventually, it was 20 minutes later and I was still standing there reading the sociology board. I didn't even care that I was blowing off my nursing class.

Also, clinical, what a mess. I dread going in every morning. I find that when I am at the hospital, I would rather be sitting behind the desk charting, or working on the computer, than actually going into patient's rooms. In the morning, when my instructor gives us our patient, and then tells us to go to work and take vitals and do morning care, I feel so lost. I feel so nervous about going in a waking patients up that I feel physically ill. I have no confidence in clinical at all. I don't want to touch patients...I feel weird doing it. Things like bed baths and peri care....they freak me out. I feel so wrong and deviant touching people. I don't feel confident enough to be having people's care in my hands. Thinking about medication admin. scares the heck out of me too. Also, I had a family angry with me because I was taking so long to do a bed bath, and I felt like saying, then you do it, I would rather NOT touch your grandmother. I know, this sounds horrible. I am just trying to be openly honest so that I can get some openly honest advice. Don't get me wrong, I still care about people, and I want them to all get equally competent and caring attention, I just don't know if I can be the one to give that to them.

Another thing, I have had to run to the washroom numerous times since starting clinical because the smell of some bodily fluids just makes me gag. And then I can't eat for the rest of the day and feel so sick.

I want to add, that I have an extremely difficult, unsupporting clinical teacher who does not teach us anything, she expects so much from us and puts so much pressure on us. The rest of the students in my group tell me they also dread going into clinical because of her, and a lot of them are trying to drop clinical now. One other girl is actually in the same boat as me, she is wondering whether she should drop the whole program or not.

So, in summary, I need help. I don't know if I am just going through a rough patch because I don't like my clinical teacher. Or if I am just not cut out to be a nurse, and I should look into something else.

Oh, and I would also like to add, that, for every wonderful, amazing nurse I have met, I have met 15 horrible, nasty nurses. I just don't know if I can handle working with other women like that for the rest of my life.

As you can see, I have some major issues to work out! haha I would appreciate any imput that anyone can give me. Be honest and don't be afraid to tell me what you really think, because this decision will not only the rest of my life, but it will affect people in hospitals who need care. I truly do want them to get the best care, and if i can't give that to them, then I need to get out.

Thank you in advance for reading this long post, I really appreciate it! Any advice will be helping me make a difficult life decision.

[Jennifer0512]

It sounds like from your post that you already know what is best for you :)

Nursing isn't for everyone and that is okay. It also sounds like you have clear other passions. You should give those a shot!

Wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide!

[all4ofus, ASN, RN]

My first degree was in psychology. After graduation, I got a job working for an EAP call center. I realized quickly that I don't really care for psych patients, to put it mildly. So there was really no point in chasing a master's in order to get licensed. So, I looked to the administrative side of things. I switched jobs to a smaller EAP with a local corporate office and made my way out of the call center. Ultimately, I ended up managing the contracts for this small EAP, which grew to #2 in the nation in the five years I worked there. I spent lots of time negotiating the finer points of liability, indemnification, fiduciary responsibilities, blah, with lawyers. Was also responsible for making sure client benefits were loaded correctly in the system for the call centers. In this time, we were sold twice and acquired about five other EAPs and everyone just waited for their turn to get sacked with each acquisition. Not to mention all the political BS and buzzword bingo. Ultimately, I quit to go into nursing, because it's more stable, not a desk job, it's hands-on, more interesting, less stressful, and you can be caring without having to deal with *as much* psychosocial BS. To this day, I have very little patience with psych patients, especially the faux death types. So -- I guess I just noticed we were coming from opposite sides of the fence and thought I would share a small bit of my story. If you do decide to switch fields, my advice would be to go the social work route vs. psychology or sociology. If you go for the advanced degree and licensure, you can do more as a LMSW or LCSW than a LPC, LCDC, or LMFT. Good luck to you, whatever you decide!!

[2ndyearstudent, CNA]

This is where you got off track:

I did some research, and found that it would most likely be easier for me to find a job and make more money after school if I took the nursing avenue.

Go back and look at the things you said you liked and go do that.

Any degree program is going to be tough, challenging, and require some sacrifices. Given that, you had better LIKE what you are doing.

[CBsMommy]

To me, it sounds like you would like the psychology/social work aspect to people's lives instead of dealing with nursing and that's great for you to figure out now so that you can switch your major.

If you're going to pay that much for a degree, you better go for something you LIKE to do, then be miserable at something you have no interest in.

Nursing is not for everyone! We had several people switch to accounting degrees after their first semester. Recognizing what you want to do and having the courage to change your direction is a strength and not a weakness!

Good luck to you no matter which way you choose!