Confidence Issues!

[Eman A]

Hello all :) I'm a 3rd year nursing student and I have the worst self-esteem issues! All of my clinical instructors are aware of this, and say it affects the way I work. They tell me you have good clinical skills but you get too scared for no reason. It's just that there's always something in the back of my head saying I'm gonna do everything wrong, and will hurt my patient!

How can I overcome this fear before I start working as an RN? or is it only when you're a student?

[Gooselady, BSN, RN]

By REFUSING to be the person with 'low self esteem'. That is a label you want to get rid of, reject it, not use it as a way to explain yourself to others.

I know this sounds almost backwards, but trust me here :) I genuinely understand where you are coming from and I can tell you really don't want this stuff in your way!

Having 'low self esteem' can become an identity. 'Oh, my self esteem is so low because ______" or "I do things like this because my self esteem is so low" and so forth. Do you see what I mean? Maybe you aren't doing these things -- GOOD! But some people do, it's like 'low self esteem' is a badge, they get so stuck labeling themselves, using 'low self esteem' to explain why they fall short.

Luckily, having low self confidence (which is a better way of putting it) is correctable with things like cognitive behavioral therapy. Not the therapy you go to for years, but six months or so, where you learn to 'catch' the thoughts running through your head and CORRECT them.

Having low self confidence is actually WRONG, realistically speaking. It is unrealistic. Cognitive/behavioral therapy brings the person back to reality. No matter your background, be it abuse or whatever, your thinking has become excessively negative. You are like the opposite of the person who thinks they are better than others, you think you are worse, perhaps? BOTH are not realistic. So assessing yourself realistically, in yourself and with others, is the 'cure'. Low self esteem is a 'thinking' problem, a problem with how you think and evaluate. You yourself? YOU ARE FINE. Nothing wrong with you.

Who would you be if you have normal self esteem? What would you do, in your clinicals, if your self esteem were normal? Who would you be without these thoughts of having 'low self esteem'? The answer might surprise you.

[Eman A]

Thank you so much!! I am starting my Critical Care and Pediatric clinicals next week, and I am so excited!! I will keep what you said to me in mind, I'm gonna go strong :)

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

I think the whole self-esteem thing is overrated, and I think that people who worry too much about their self esteem need to stop thinking about themselves so much and get over themselves. It's like a scab-- you pick at it and pick at it, and it never heals. If you forget about it for awhile and get involved in, well, life, you find that it's healed while you were busy living your life.

In a little kid who says, "My sister got sick because I was mad at her," we say, "You don't have that much power." Well, thinking that you're going to do everything wrong and hurt someone is a lot like that. A responsible preceptor or instructor would not put you in the position that you could do anybody serious harm. Really. You will not have that much power to cause life-or-death situations.

I agree with the CBT recommendation, to give you a much more realistic sense of what's real and what's not, and learn to live your life.