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[sunnyjohn]

A general practitioner, an internist, and a surgeon go duck hunting. A duck flies overhead, and the GP says, "Gee, kinda looks like a duck," and shoots it.

Another duck flies overhead, and the internist sights it. "Duck, rule out pheasant, rule out goose," he says, and shoots it.

A third bird flies overheard. The surgeon raises his gun. BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! Then he looks at the others. "What was that?" he asks.

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An internist, a surgeon and a radiologist go duck hunting. There aren't any ducks, so they start bragging about their dogs. Finally they decide to have a contest.

They put down a chocolate chip cake. The internist points to the cake and says to his dog, "Sic it, Osler!"

Osler trots to the cake, takes out a notebook, and writes down all the ingredients, in descending order by concentration. Then he carries the note back to his master and wags his tail.

"Good boy, Osler! Impressive, huh?"

The surgeon snarls and says to his dog, "Get it, Halsted!"

Halsted runs over, takes out a scalpel, divides the cake into equal sections, dissects out all the chocolate chips and puts them in a container to sent to pathology. Then he goes back to his master.

"Good dog, Halsted," the surgeon says smugly.

"You haven't seen anything yet," says the radiologist. "Okay, Roentgen!"

Roentgen runs over, eats the cake, screws the other two dogs, and gets home by 3 o'clock.

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The resident and the attending are talking while the intern charts orders. "I dunno," says the attending. Lately it seems like sex is 90% work and only 10% pleasure."

"I respectfully disagree with you," says the resident. "It's 90% pleasure and only 10% work." They argue for a while and, unable to reach a consensus, decide to ask the intern.

"What I think," replies the intern, "is that it must be 100% pleasure. Because if there was any work involved, you'd have me doing it."

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Agape

[joyful nurse]

I'm going to post the first one at our coffee pot (dr.'s gathering area) in the AM

[sunnyjohn]

I aim to please....

[talaxandra]

A variation

Five doctors go out duck shooting.

See the first duck, the general practitioner says "I can see something flying - I'll make a referral to check if it is a duck."

The neurologist spots a small flock and says "They look like ducks, but I'll need to run a few tests to be sure."

As the second duck flies overhead the psychiatrist raises his gun, notes "That's a duck," and asks himself "I wonder if it knows it's a duck."

The surgeon spots another duck and, quick as though, aims and shoots. He turns to the pathologist and says "Check if that's a duck."

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And another...

An elderly woman takes her parrot to the vet and says "Something's wrong - she hasn't moved for three days. She's not dead, is she?"

"Hmm," says the vet. "Let me have a look. Mmm, I'm sorry, she is dead."

The woman is distraught. "Not Polly, no! This can't be true," she says. "I don't believe it. I want a second opinion."

"If you insist. Let me bring in my assistant. Smoky, I need you."

A Siamese cat runs into the room, jumps nimbly up on the exam table, and looks up and down the length of the bird's body. Meowing once, she jumps down and leaves the room.

"Yep," says the vet. "Smoky agrees with me, I'm afraid."

"A cat! That's ridiculous - I said I wanted a second opinion!" shouts the woman.

"Okay, let me bring in my assistant. Thomas, could you come in please."

A golden retriever enters the room, approaches the table and then lifts his paws up on the edge of the exam table. He sniffs the body a couple of times, nudges it once, and then barks loudly, before leaving the room.

"I'm very sorry," the vet says "but it's unanimous - your parrot is definitely dead."

"Oh now, that's terrible! Well, how much do I owe you>"

"$650.00."

"Six hundred and fifty dollars? That's outrageous!"

"Well, the initial exam was only $50, but I'm afraid I have to charge you extra for the cat scan and the lab test."