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Comical Statements

betts betts (Member)

I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.

I went for a walk last night and he asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time."

My buddy got busted for counterfeiting. He was making pennies. They caught him because he was putting the heads and tails on the wrong sides.

I got stopped by a cop the other day. He said, "Why'd you run that stop sign?" I said, "Because I don't believe everything I read."

My husband said I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said.

When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like all the passengers in his car.

I filled out an application that said, "In Case of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?

I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.

I went for a walk last night and he asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time."

My buddy got busted for counterfeiting. He was making pennies. They caught him because he was putting the heads and tails on the wrong sides.

I got stopped by a cop the other day. He said, "Why'd you run that stop sign?" I said, "Because I don't believe everything I read."

My husband said I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said.

When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like all the passengers in his car.

I filled out an application that said, "In Case of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?

I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

Originally posted by betts

I filled out an application that said, "In Case of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?

Tee hee!! :roll :chuckle

Originally posted by betts

I filled out an application that said, "In Case of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?

Tee hee!! :roll :chuckle

Zee_RN, BSN, RN

Has 17 years experience. Specializes in Hospice, Critical Care.

Someone actually has that on the ER Lame Awards thread, I believe. While doing admission history in the E.D., the nurse asked the father of the patient, "who should we call in the event of an emegency?" The man looked at the nurse like he was crazy and said " 911 ! "

My personal favorite:

"I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. " LOL! That's me!

Zee_RN, BSN, RN

Has 17 years experience. Specializes in Hospice, Critical Care.

Someone actually has that on the ER Lame Awards thread, I believe. While doing admission history in the E.D., the nurse asked the father of the patient, "who should we call in the event of an emegency?" The man looked at the nurse like he was crazy and said " 911 ! "

My personal favorite:

"I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. " LOL! That's me!

jnette, ASN, EMT-I

Has 10 years experience. Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.

Originally posted by betts

When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like all the passengers in his car.

.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Thanx... now I get to wipe the milk of my screen... :o

OMG!! These are too hilarious!!! :D I am seriously laughing my ass off!! :D :rotfl:

~Kacy

A man called here the other day and asked; "Who's talking?", I replied; "You Are."

canoehead, BSN, RN

Has 30 years experience. Specializes in ER.

Oh, betts. Where do you get these?

From my "Favorite" comedian; my husband.

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