Co-Workers teasing your spouse!!

mstewart · Jan 5, 2004

No. I have never heard of this happening to anyone I go to school with either.

That is harrassment. Your hubby needs to stand up for himself, and you and tell them to mind their own business. After he tells them once to cut it out, AND TELLS HIS MANAGER/HR, if it happens again it is harassment.

Although since he work labor (my hubby does too) I know that the guys would NEVER report harassment-so I suggest that he just tells them off.:)

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jan 5, 2004

My brother-in-law put my sister through nursing school. She never had to work at all, just go to school. The same month of her graduation she left him.

It does happen, perhaps more than you realize.

Are you sure they aren't doing what a lot of guys do and tease each other mercilessly. If they are serious, then hubby needs to stand up for himself, let them know it's hurtful, irritating and wrong.

Good luck.

jschut, BSN, RN · Jan 5, 2004

My husband was teased as well. Usually on a daily basis! But he knew better, so it really didn't effect him much.

But he did go through a little spell where he was kind of clingy, and I think it started getting to him a bit, but it didn't last long. Not long at all....

Hang in there.....you know better and so does your husband. You are married to each other, not his co-workers. Ignore the jerks and show them all how long and strong your marriage is and will continue to be....even after graduation!

:kiss to you both......and may you both have a long and happy married life together!

Hugs~

Julie :)

hoppermom3 · Jan 5, 2004

My husband also gets teased about that...at least once a day. They tell him that I am at college with all the young cute guys all day, etc... I just tell him that the young cute guys are looking at the young cute girls, not at this old wife and mother of 3.

One of the guys where he works has put 2 wives through school-both left as soon as they graduated. No kids with either one, thank God.

ethelbsnrn · Jan 5, 2004

Why do you think they left their spouses?

I am sending my DH to nursing school. This is his 2nd degree. He couldn't find a decent-paying job with his 1st degree. This is the 1st time I heard of this issue. I am kinda worried. So, what led them to leave the ones who sacrificed a lot for their school?

P_RN, ADN, RN · Jan 5, 2004

We'd been married 10 years when I finished Nursing school. DH was also in school on the GI Bill. We scrimped and saved and budgeted and BOTH of us were able to go to college without taking a single loan.

In all these years I may have thought about leaving, I'm sure that's true for him too. The point is we made a legal vow before God that in plenty and adversity we would stick together.

Next June will be thirty-nine years.

For better, for worse, forever.

SmilingBluEyes · Jan 5, 2004

Lordy at 50,he has enough life experience to know people like this will SHUT UP if ignored or given the cold shoulder. WHY should he let this get to him?

My husband, who is in the USAF, was teased simlilarly. He was told "yea when she graduates and works, she will dump you for a doctor" . Ummm yea.....Let's see : Dump a wonderful, talented,handsome, attentive man who is a GREAT dad for the home on the fairway and a beeper to keep me company???? Yea makes GREAT sense to me....not.

Just tell him to ignore the comments; at 50 he ought to be able to take a bit of heat. It will pass when they find something else to go on about. I would not give them the time of day in the meanwhile. They sound immature and stupid to me. NOT The kind from whom I would seek an opinion, anyhow.

Just my 0.02.

purplemania, BSN, RN · Jan 5, 2004

Could it be that people leave a spouse who complained the whole time you are in school and made it hard to study or sleep? Or maybe the student is going to school in order to start a "new life" and after graduation, sheds the "old one"? Believe it or not, students learn a lot in those years about themselves and others. Could be the student grew, but the spouse failed to do so. Nothing but time will show the jerks the truth, so there is no point in arguing. Just show by example that your relationship is the exception and you appreciate your spouse's support. And then tell the jerk if he ever comes into the ER when you are are nursing there, you will let him hurt--------just kidding!!!!!

kwagner_51 · Jan 5, 2004

quote/Lordy at 50,he has enough life experience to know people like this will SHUT UP if ignored or given the cold shoulder. WHY should he let this get to him? quote

Deb,

I kinda blew it off when he first mentioned it. Told him it wasn't true and not to listen to them. However, he was chief union steward and people were NOT listening to anything he said. He started to get really angry, all the frustrations of the job, the union job and my financial aid difficulties added up. Turns out that three of the guys sent their wives to school and after graduation, the wives left!!

I guess they are trying to warn him that I will do the same thing. That's what pi**** me off so much. Just because their wives did it DOES NOT mean I will. I have to wonder what kinda jerks they were while their wives were in school.

This isn't a once a day occurrence...every time they see him on the line [he is at the head of the line. His job is mixer in a production bakery], they shake their heads and give him the slicing motion across the throat. One of them is his immediate supervisor!!!

Thanks for letting me vent!

CCU NRS · Jan 5, 2004

If you love your Husband and you let him know it then he should not have any insecurity about it. Ask him if he knows that you love him and tell him how much you do. Ask him if he thinks that the people that are treating him the way they are lost their wives because of school or because of the same immature mentality that they are displaying? They are Childish and acting out of jealousy because they fear that what happend to them will NOT happen to you. They will all have to face the facts that they had other marital problems and most likely that these women went to school as a means to and end of freedom from the very dults you are discussing!

liked the way Deb added 0.02 I will add $0.02

ktwlpn, LPN · Jan 5, 2004

Originally posted by kwagner_51
My DH told me that he is being teased by people where he works, because he is putting me through school!! They have told him that I will LEAVE after I graduate! :angryfire [We have been married for 18 yrs.]

He is 50y/o and KNOWS that I will NOT leave him, but gets upset hearing these jerks say the same thing over and over. I got to hear a comment from one of them the other day. My DH had been on vaction the week after Christmas, and went in to check his schedule. He forgot whether he was supposed to go in at 11pm or 1am, so I called for him, while he was sleeping.

The jerk who took the call told me first the my DH must be getting Alzheimer's because he forgot, then he told me that I needed to trade my DH in for a newer model!! :angryfire He proceeded to say that they were taking bets to see how long I kept him after I graduate!!!

Of course I denied everything, but I was really shocked and extremely hurt, to think that my DH, who works anywhere from 40 to 80 hrs. a week in hard physical labor, so I can get through shcool, has to put up with this crap!!!

Anyone else getting this kinda stuff happening to them? If so, how doyou deal with it?

Thanks!!

It does happen-but like I tell my 13 yr old the more you react to the teasing the more you encourage the teaser....Your husband needs to come back with things like "Heck-she is going to be keeping ME-I'm retiring" .......It does sound like he is a little insecure and could use a little extra TLC -if you have the time to give it to him between classes and clinical and stuff...good luck