Sorry this is long, thanks for reading this! I'm an ADN working in the rehab wing of a LTC unit. I've had this job 2 yrs, been an RN for 3 yrs. and it's my 3rd job. I've got a good boss and great co-workers. Sure, I deal with a lot of the same issues that other nurses deal with: too many patients, too much charting, doctors not being able to visit their patients enough, feeling overwhelmed at times, dealing with crappy policies... However, I feel like on the spectrum of nursing conditions out there, I really don't have it too bad. When I am at work I put on a happy face for my patients, do my best, and work as hard as I can. I usually get positive feedback from residents and staff on how well I'm doing.
My problem is that I dread going to work every week. From the beginning of my first shift to the end of my 3rd shift I'm counting down the hours left. Since my second semester in nursing school I have found that when I get home I don't want to go out and socialize. I've lost interest in exercise and gained weight. I don't sleep as well as I used too. I'm not feeling my feelings very well anymore. I moved to a smaller town about 2 years ago for my boyfriend who is from this area. Since moving I haven't really made a huge effort to develop a life for myself here. I'm just feeling lonely, isolated, and depressed.
Nursing is a second career for me. I used to do GIS (map making) and community planning. I left that field in search of a more fulfilling career; I wanted to help people directly and I thought I was going to love nursing. The reality is that now I have this gut sinking feeling when I think about nursing, eventhough it is rewarding and sometimes my patient interactions feel valuable. I am an introverted, introspective quiet person and nursing is a stressful, fast paced environment with constant interruptions. I often find myself missing the days when I worked in a quiet cubicle and could just sit down and work on projects.
There is a job opening in the city planning depart. in the town that I live in. I'm considering applying for it, especially since jobs like that don't open up very often. I just don't want to regret leaving a profession that would have given me the opportunity to spend my life helping people. Also, I'm just not sure if I'm feeling depressed because nursing isn't the right field for me, or if I'm dealing with depression and that's why I'm not happy with nursing. Any advice?
