First, let me say "i understand!" and can empathize with you...it is absolutely MISERABLE to feel stuck in a job that you hate, and feel as though you are stuck in and cannot leave. It sucks!
A little about me so you know where I am coming from: dad of 3, RN for 25 years, SRNA for 2...so while I have not been practicing anesthesia long...I have a little insight into what you are talking about.
I too wondered if this was the direction I wanted to go in, and the negative aspects you mentioned were precisely the ones that gave me pause.
However, I actually think the advice you have received already - even from the non-anesthesia providers, is pretty good. Just like there are many ways to put or keep someone asleep..there are many cultures in healthcare organizations. Sounds like you may be involved in one that is rough to work with. In my 25 years in nursing, I spent much time researching organizational behavior and personal job satisfaction (weird work for a nurse, ain't it?).. You seem to be at a crossroads where a decision soon has to be made, one that is intensely personal. As with all personal decisions like this, it sometimes helps to get non-biased help in sorting though your feelings and options; I myself have used a career counselor (and paid quite a bit for it, too!) that was very, helpful. It was worth the time and effort to find someone that was a true counselor, and not a kid with a degree in HR who wanted to give me pat answers....I found somebody with a clinical degree and experience who helped me work through some of the issues facing me...for instance in your case - is it the work environment that you dislike, or the work? Do you enjoy being a clinician, constantly upgrading your skills in a demanding profession? Do you like your patients to be more awake than most of yours are
. Or, is it merely the environment...the pressure to turn over cases...the arrogance of surgeons (and attending MDA's)..or even nursing staff? Is YOUR personality suited for this work environment? You know that, as people have already said, there is much latitude in the culture of OR environments. You will likely find others that are much "friendlier" to CRNA's. But it's probably wise to acknowledge that this era's economics will always put pressure on turnover times, and arrogance, stupidity and downright meanness have existed in every profession in every institution and organization I have ever worked in...and trust me, that is quite a few. So, my opinion...just my opinion....is that this is a GREAT time for you...a time for some deep soul searching (and some hard work)...so that you might sort out what is best for you and your family. You have invested much in your profession; why not invest a little more to find someone who can guide (not direct) you through this process to enable you to find a job that takes with you the career investments you have made and leaves behind that which makes you crazy. Figure out whats important to you. And ..Godspeed and Good Luck on the journey!!
All my best - piper