Care at the Time of Death

Specialties Hospice

Published

[color=#001a66]from ajn, july 2003:

[color=#001a66]care at the time of death

[color=#6666cd]how nurses can make the last hours of life a richer,

[color=#6666cd]more comfortable experience.

[color=#001a66]by elizabeth ford pitorak, msn, rn, chpn

[color=#001a66]https://www.aacn.nche.edu/elnec/pdf/palliativecareajn8.pdf

Well said! Knowing in our hearts that we came from something (someone, Creator, God) beyond ourselves and from someplace (not earth) then our existence has meaning with purposes for our spirits that lie beyond the grave. As the wise man Solomon discovered, everything under the sun is meaningless without that belief just as you described in the life and death of someone void of all but self.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, ER, ICU, Hospice.

IRISHPOOH…

You seem to be somewhat atypical in your willingness to discuss your views on your religion without being defensive or proselytizing. Perhaps you might be willing to answer questions that many, such as myself, do wonder about?

FYI, I was raised Presbyterian. I am the 9th generation of a New England “Puritan,” Abraham Holmes. G’pa Abraham left the old world (from Ireland) largely to escape the Catholics. Eight generations later my father still hated the Catholics, but to give you some idea of how rebellious I am, my first wife was Catholic.

Personally, organized religions put me off, and one of the things that scares people like me is the contention (by some Christians) that they (and only they) can get into “Heaven.” This, it seems to me, is sheer and utter nonsense and in fact, is illustrative of a prime defect in organized religions in general. That being (which I spoke of in an earlier post) their weakness for using threats of punishment and promises of special treatment to potential new recruits in order to swell their ranks, their coffers and their political influence (worldly power.)

It has been my observation that dying people who do not “accept Jesus” do not fair any worse than those who do. In fact, threats of hell & damnation seem to haunt some Christians a great deal. In other words, some aspects of Christian doctrine seem to do more harm to its practitioners than good. More than once, as a hospice nurse, I have found myself trying to convince my pts that God loves them… despite their religious training.

I have known Christians whose spiritual views were expansive, analytical and accepting of others… people who used Christian precepts as a starting point for spiritual investigation and enlightenment. I have also known some who were downright hateful and seemed to delight in thinking their God would punish everyone they did not personally approve of.

It seems that you are one of the former, and I wonder at your thoughts about the latter.

Michael

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Hi Michael! I was just thinking yesterday about posting a question concerning beliefs on the hospice site. Just curious as to whether those who have worked in hospice and been around those leaving this world have made any changes in what they believe? Like, if they didn't believe in God at all, did hospice work cause a change of heart? Or if they ascribed to a certain believe previous to their experience, did they keep it? Did their faith grow stronger or did they change to some other belief or give up believing at all? My background is Catholic. My great grandparents came from Ireland and settled in the New England states. My dad was born in RI. I was still a practicing Catholic when I married my husband (German and a nominal Methodist). When I was expecting our second child and told my dad the names we had picked out (Amy Lynn and Christopher Michael) he said, "I never cared for the Vanderbilt's or the Carter's," (took me a while to get that he was referring to the name Amy), "and you have a cousin Christopher." That was news to me. His name is Christopher Corrigan but the Corrigan's turned protestant when they arrived in the US so the Shea's broke off all contact with them. To me, that is the difference between religion and relationship. When I fully understood the gospel I realized how much of what I'd been taught to believe was God's Word never came out of the Bible. I not only believe in God and that Jesus is God (as He claimed to be) but I believe there's an evil one and that he does some of his best work in organized religion. You are so right about God loving us and my belief is John 3:16, He loved us enough to die for us. But Jesus never forced Himself on anyone and His offer was to trust in Him (a totally a personal choice). We Christians are required to be ready to give an answer to those who ask about the hope we have within us. My hope is in Christ and like I said, only if someone would ask me would I share my beliefs. For me it is what Jesus said about Himself, "I am the way, the truth and the life...no man comes to the Father but through Me." But I would never tell someone else that their belief is "wrong" or that they are going to hell because no one can know the spirit of man except that man and God. God loves us and He is not willing that any should perish. Thankfully it isn't up to us to judge people (and we're told not to) but just like many muslims who are struggling today because people see them all like the terroists of 9-11, there are many "professing" Christians out there. Like Corrie Ten Boom's father said, "Just because a mouse is in the cookie jar doesn't make him a cookie." I appreciate you asking me to share and I hope I responded to what you were inquiring about. Jesus hated organized religion, too. No one got the "wrath of God" going in Him more than the Pharisees who, as He noted, added burdens to the people and didn't offer a finger to help lift them off. And He blasted them for saying they couldn't help meet the needs of their parents because what they own they "corban" (gave to God) when they were really keeping it for themselves. He exposed them for what they were, hypocrites. Garry, my husband, and I have moved around a lot due to his job changes and we always try and find a church that is as non-denominational as can be and stands on the Word of God, not rituals and traditions of men. Thankfully my family didn't ostracize me when I "turned protestant" (quoting my mother here) but I still would have gone through the "narrow gate" even if they had. I find reading your posts pretty facinating and I'm always left with something to think about. There are many "faiths" out there and not all are in the context of what we call "religion", but most are. Think of the faith it took to fly those airplanes into the World Trade Center and all the suicide bombers believing if they kill themselves and take some of their "enemies" with them then they will be blessed by Allah for eternity. But then there's the faith of the Hale-Bopp comet people who killed themselves believing they'd be living on a comet after death. And even evolutionists have to have faith that the tiniest life form (over billions of years) became a highly complex species called "man". I'd be interested to read more from you on your convictions and how you came to have them, Michael. I plan to go sign up for my refresher course today so, Lord willing, I can some day join the ranks of the wonderful hospice nurses I've come to know through this website. Take care and ttyl.

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Specializes in IM/Critical Care/Cardiology.
Thank you, Michael! The encouragement I have received on this website has helped immensely and that was very kind of you to say that I should make a "great hospice nurse". Cannot tell you how much I appreciate the vote of confidence, especially coming from a seasoned hospice nurse like you! I will give it all I've got to ensure that my patients get the best care I can give them. I can tell from reading your posts how important giving good hospice care is to you, Michael. And even though you are not able to work like you once did, this website is a good medium for you to "mentor" young (not in age) "grasshoppers" such as myself who are just starting their journey. I know I'll be back on here from time to time with questions, concerns and probably some complaints but more times than not, just to glean more from those who have been further down the road than where I'm at. You know how we don't like, for the most part, to say something positive about ourselves when asked? Well, I think if I had to come up with something that's good about me I'd say I'm "teachable". So even if I'm not writing posts you'll know I'm "lurking" around the site to see what else I can learn from all the other "posters". CS Lewis had a student who quoted his father as saying, "We read to know we are not alone." Well, we could say something similar about going online. Am glad I am not alone in cyberspace :) Colleen

I agree Irishpooh:welcome:

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Specializes in IM/Critical Care/Cardiology.

I too love this site because it makes me think. (Not argue......). I believe that is one reason their is a calling for nurses that can leave their own beliefs at the door, so as to enhance their clients expereince and consciousness. I am drawn to this site as I have posted before and I thank each and every poster for the insite I am receiving. I would like to go into hospice nursing when I finish school and receive my R.N.. There is so much to learn.

Michael: I hope the info you rec'vd from Bob was helpful.

Hugs,

Sheri

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Specializes in Med-Surg, ER, ICU, Hospice.

Sheri…

Bob’s info was very helpful. Thanks a million!

IRISHPOOH…

I do hope you do well with your refresher course and find a hospice to work for soon.

All…

Addressing the question: “What did I come here for?” is really (I think) important.

I have asked that question of myself and a few other people. The initial response is usually to think of it in terms of doing things for others; e.g. I came here to help my kids, or dying people or whatever. In other words, the initial response is to think of it with an external focus. That is fine, but I think the real core question has an internal focus. What did I come here to do for me?

Ultimately, the person we have the most influence over in all the universe is me. And if we are all connected (part of what physicists call “universal consciousness”) then the ‘me’ I create is, in effect, what I have to offer universal consciousness. Ultimately, I am all I have to give. Therefore it is my responsibility to mold me into the best me I can.

Which means I have a lot of work to do.

Michael

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Specializes in IM/Critical Care/Cardiology.

Maybe I should have clarified, leaving my religious beliefs at the door. Meaning I would like to learn the difficult task of letting dying people get to a good death........

In order to be successful at this i would have to think as you stated Michael, I have alot of work to do.

This is why this site is so intriguing to me. Taking a new perspective at life as it ends.

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Thank you for the well wishes for my refresher course, Michael. I know I'll need it! My husband always says, "Just give it your best shot." And so, I shall. I think, in answer to your question, the work we are put here on earth to do for ourselves depends on revelation. We cannot try and improve on something within ourselves if we're not even aware there's something that needs improving. I believe internal work starts when the blinders are taken off (and we all know how painful that can be!) and the heart is willing to change. I am sure I'm still blind to things I should be working on and guess I take some solace in that we really are "works in progress". And I have FAR to go!!! But I also like the analogy of the tapestry which shows how messed up, knotted up, not pleasant looking the back of a tapestry is as it is being worked on but once it is finished and turned over it is a beautiful work of art! Would that be "art imitating life"? Colleen

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Specializes in Med-Surg, ER, ICU, Hospice.

IRISHPOOH…

I sent you a private message but, being new, you may not have figured out yet how that works in allnurses.

All…

I’ve been reading (listening to) Fred Alan Wolf’s (Ph.D. in quantum physics) book, “Doctor Quantum, A User’s Guide To Your Universe.” This, I think, should be required reading for hospice nurses. It discusses everything from parallel universes to how mind creates matter.

Check back.

Michael

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Specializes in Med-Surg, ER, ICU, Hospice.

P.S.

There is a really good program on the Tibetan Book Of The Dead playing on the history channel. Check it out.

Michael

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Thanks Micheal...will try and catch that! I'm a courttv junkie and Forensic Files is on now. You're right about the PM...do they let me know when I have one? I got a message either yesterday or the day before and I wrote you back with my email address. Did you get that one? Have a great night!! Colleen

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Sorry Michael...typo with your name!

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