If we only had voice mail for call lights.....
Most of us have now learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessity, But
have you ever wondered what it would be like if every Nursing station had Voice Mail?
Imagine the patients' pressing their call light and hearing the following:
Thank you for calling the nurses station.
For English, Press 1.
For Spanish, press 2.
For all other languages, press 0.
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for bedpans.
Press 2 for water.
Press 3 for emergencies.
Press 4 for if you're just a pain in the a_ _.
I am sorry; all of our nurses and doctors are busy helping others who are REALLY SICK
However, you are important to us, and we will answer your call bell
on the following shift!
Please stay on the call button so we may become more agitated
and take it out on our families when we go home!
But, if you persist...
If you would like to speak to:
The Charge Nurse, press 1.
The Supervisor, press 2
The Administrator, press 3.
Your Lawyer.. Hang on and we'll give you some Versed.
To call a loved one and complain, press 5,
then enter his or her social security number, followed by the "pound"
sign.
If you don't get an answer, press # followed by I-AM-AN-IDIOT.
Finally....
If you've tried all of these options,
GO TO THE DANGED HOSPITAL DOWN THE STREET..
THEY GET PAID MORE ANDTHEY'RE NOT AS BUSY AS US...
THEY CAN AFFORD TO RUB YOUR DARNED BACK!
From Dogfood For The Soul
Medi Menu.. The Search Home For Nurses
