burned out

[jhinchman]

hello all,

my husband and i moved to a small town from a decent sized city so that our daughter could grow up with my parents (their only grandchild). the move had us feeling so positive and hopeful, and now it seems we are more trapped than ever. i left my job as a charge nurse on day shift working with people i (mostly) loved and am now working nights under charge nurses who have been nurses less than a year. the job i left was med/surg and the job i'm at now is as well. the thing is, i'm starting to feel like this was all a big mistake. my source of stress related to my job is many fold. the fact that i'm working with all new grads/new nurses is hard and kind of awful. they're arrogant and snotty and don't know what they're doing. nights are killing me, because i'm not a night person and i feel so guilty not just leaving my baby at night, but for sleeping during the day! i'm also getting burned out by the work itself. the patient population here is far ruder and much more entitled than where i worked at before. the nurse to patient ratios are higher than at my previous job, and the patients are more acute. it's not a good combination. i have been thinking that it's time to leave med/surg and find a new area to work in. however the problem is that 1) i've only been at this job for two months, and 2) there are no other hospitals in this town. apparently you have to be on your unit a year before you can transfer. i understand why that's in place, especially for a hospital with so many new nurses; however i've done my time, albeit at a different hospital, and i'm feeling trapped. this job is killing me on the inside. i cry before i go to work. my stomach turns and my muscles tense. i have no advocates at work, no one has warmed up to me, despite making an effort to break the ice. the charge nurse always gives me an assignment that's at the other end of the unit far from everyone else and i'm stuck there by myself all night long. it's disheartening and i'm not sure what to do. i don't think i can hang for a whole year. my manager knows i would prefer days and yet is unsympathetic. any words of wisdom would be much appreciated. sorry for whining.

[gcupid]

Get a massage, some wine/chocolate/ice cream. Take some pressure off of yourself & really think about how good you have it compared to others that are less fortunate. Im pretty sure you make more money than the avg person. I bet you've taken care of individuals who wish they had at least half of the health & beauty that you possess. Plus, your parents are still alive to help assist with wisdom that can only be gotten by life experience. You are not alone bc husband is there & baby.

You have options. You are intelligent & creative. It is a false illusion that you are stuck in this position. You do not have to stay & work in that hell hole. Write out a list of possible realistic options. Maybe life is pushing you in another direction.

[unknownjulie]

I can relate. Moving from a large place to a small place takes a lot of adjustment. Give yourself time, but also think of some kind of timeline.... I am currently on "the 8 year plan". And what I mean when I think/say this, is that I am staying put and committed, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. For me I want my youngest to finish High School without moving again. Your timeline could be, "until your child is 10 and can fly to stay at grandma and grandpa's for the entire summer" or something like that. As for the work stress, I recommend going down to 2, 12's until you can figure it out better. 2 night shifts is easier to tackle than 3. If you can't get them to reduce your hours, then start calling in. Your mental health is most important right now. It's a different culture to be in a small community. You may not fit in easily but with enough time, you will find some friends and start to enjoy things again. Keep the communication open with your husband and talk about the plan together... Yes, grandparents are important, but a miserable mother is also not helping your child. It's all a balancing act once the kids arrive! Good luck and let us know how it all works out!