Breathe in, breathe out

[chris21sn, BSN, RN]

Warning: Just another vent session.

Just wanted to to get this off my chest in a real quick post.

Ive been struggling for the past 9 months at my job. I work at a telemetry floor, 24 bed unit. 1 aide on the floor. 1 unit secretary (if I'm lucky, and they aren't pulled), 3-4 nurses a night. The combination of nurses' ages tend to be late 20s/early 30s and the late 50s/mid 60s. We are very heavily understaffed and we tend to accept ventilator patient, drip patients, and multiple confused patients.

Im not sure what I'm expecting by posting this here - I think I just want to vent a little off my chest.

So here it goes: I'm pretty miserable and depressed at my job, many days I go take care of 7 - 8 patients a night, most of them "completes," a bit "entitled" and many, many very "confused" and "pain seeking." I know it's part of the job, but I've been feeling very (I guess) unwilling to come to work everyday.

Depending on my group of nurses and aides that I work with it, I could have a decent night, or I could come home crying. Some older nurses tend to pick the "easier" or more "compliant" patients. They tend to give the new kids like me, the ones that are complete cares, want to run out of the hospital, pick at their picc line, scratch at their nurses. Many nights I'll be doing one discharge, and then accepting two admissions in one night. Many times I've been yelled at by aides if I could get help changing a patient.

I think it it may be a combination of hospital understaffing, bullying, and just hospital culture that has cultivated during the years.

i get it. I'm a new nurse, I need to "put in my time." However, if I see the veteran nurses with 4-5 "easier" patients while I have 6-7 "harder" ones, it does make me feel a bit miserable.

I keep trying to tell myself it's good exposure, and this is just another stepping stone, but I feel like I might be reaching a tiny breaking point.

Again, not sure what I wanted to receive by putting this out there. Maybe guidance, advice or reassurance that I'm not alone, or that I'm on the right path.

I hope to to put in my golden year and try looking other places, in the meantime just hold on and pray and pray and pray.

[icuCCRNurse]

Who decides patient assignments? If you honestly feel like you are receiving the most difficult patients EVERY shift and that other staff members constantly have easier patients, say something to your manager/supervisor. Even though you are new, if you guys choose your assignments, speak up and say that you need to even out the work load. Split the drips, split the confused patients, the incontinent patients, etc. No point in being miserable. Maybe you just need to voice your opinion more and speak up for yourself. It doesn't sound like people are respecting you, especially if CNAs yell at you when you ask for help. I'm sorry you feel this way. Being a new nurse is difficult for everyone. It will get better.