Big Decision - Would love advice

[catalina123]

I need some big help.

I was a pre-med student with a 4.0 GPA, but I'm also going to be 30 in a few months. So, in the interest of getting on with my life, I applied, and was accepted, to RN school! I was so excited. Classes start Jan. 11. I love the medical field, I love helping people, and I was always able to handle difficult patients as a retail pharmacy tech.

But, there's one big thing thing: I have panic disorder. I've had it since I was 3, and I have had full blown panic attacks in the past. I started thinking today, what if I have a panic attack in the middle of a clinical rotation?!

My panic disorder has been reasonably well controlled for 15 years, with a few episodes here and there, but I'm terrified all of a sudden. I was so excited about going to nursing school, and now that I'm actually going to be doing this, it just hit me like a ton of bricks.

How early into clinical rotations do they put you in a situation where your patient could die before your very eyes? Or do they start you off slow and build you up?

I don't want to become a liability to my school, my future patients or anyone. I don't plan to specialize in trauma - I want to work ob or gyn or in a clinic or doctor's office. Is there a future for me in nursing? Or should I just apply to dental hygiene, where I won't be put in a situation of watching a patient die? I'm open to any advice or thoughts. Thank you!

I know this post may sound stupid, but I need some real honest answers here.

[jo'ee]

Do you have a strategy to lessen or ward off the attack? Applying and making decisions can be nerve racking and I am sure induce an attack. No matter what you do or where you go you can have one. Like driving on the highway sometimes gives my sister an attack out of no where, but she can't avoid driving. So if I were you, I would not put my life on hold in fear of an attack (that is what causes them right? fear? and fear of an attack?) I would move on thru them and constantly remind yourself often that you are more that capable of clinicals and eventually you will be confident in your abilities so stress from patient care will not bring on an attack. If you stop what you want to do because of your panic attacks, the attacks are running you life, not you. Perhaps you can put a post up on the boards to reach out to other nurses who also suffer from panic attacks and see how they manage their disease. Good Luck and remember the attacks are not who you are and you can do anything you put your mind to.

[jennifer7010]

I think you should just be honest with your instructors and let them know you have a panic disorder. They might be able to give you advice about students in the past that have had this and how they made it through nursing school. I'm in mental health right now and my instructor is always telling us about students that were in the program in the past with certain conditions. Good luck!

[FLDoula]

I hope my own experience will be of help to you. I also have panic disorder. (I'm 49) I've learned over the years the triggers and how to keep it to a minimum. I've done this by learning specific calming techniques that help me. I've learned to dis-associate myself from panic inducing issues until a later time I can process them in my own way....not the way my brain tells me it wants me to at that point in time. Make sense? That dissassociation doesn't mean I don't deal with the issues at hand...I do. I've had plenty of those!

I'm a Birth Doula/Lactation Counselor and in L&D things can go from calm to critical in a heartbeat. You were talking about maybe working OB....you talking in the L&D setting? I don't handle anything medical at this point being a doula but experience it with my clients as I'm there from beginning to postpartum with them. Birth is about life, but I'll be honest here.... L&D is anything but a calm working environment and bad things do happen.

I would not put off my life nor change what you really want to do. You are a strong person and this is something you can deal with if you find the right tools for yourself to do so. I have become good at completely clearing my mind and making my muscles relax at will and slowing my heartrate through controlled breathing. These tools I teach to my clients for relaxation during labor/delivery come in very handy for myself also!