With all that has happened the past two weeks I have had folk ask "Why do I stay in the Nursing field." I decided to tell a deep kept secret....What made me go into Nursing. The true reason, that goes back so long ago. I never wanted to go into Nursing at first. I actually wanted to go into Physical Therapy when I was being given Aide after I got out of the Navy. I ended up on the streets of Boston from my Naval experiences (my family and wife knows about it. I will not go in...to it here). I was helped to get off the Streets at that time, and was given paid ability to go back to school, to make a career to bring me back from the brink. All I could get was Nursing. I went through the course and still did not want to be a nurse....UNTILL something changed my mind. A tiny lost child during my clinical rotation. I did my clinicals on a pediatric unit long ago in the past. I was told that I would be caring for a small child. I looked at that tiny little boy, curled up and afraid of everybody due to abuse from his parents. Something touched me deeply about him, growing over those 5 days. Watching that frightened child open up into a smiling little boy. And on the last day, when he ran to me and hugged me - I realized "I" was the one responsible for the smiling laughing boy in my arms holding me tight. I still had reservations, being a nurse. Then something close to home put me on the road that I now travel. My mom had lung disease. I moved home to try to comfort her. One night, being the dumb stupid young man in his 20's, she asked me to stay with her and I got angry....wanting to go to a bar. Today I would had given up all my nights going to party....if only to sit with her all night - to have her one more day. A few days later she went in to the hospital. I was told she then went to a Nursing Home from the hospital. The next morning when I got home my sister Denise met me at the door. She told me mom had died during the night. I went down to my room and just sat there on my bed. My family and my Mom believed I hated her from the past. They never knew I sat their alone crying for a long time. I cried because she died alone. While I was at another Nursing facility, my mom died alone. And I made a vow. A Vow that no matter what happens....if it is ever in my power to keep it from happening to another - Another person will not die alone and afraid. I will be with him/her....holding that hand.