Baby during NP program

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Hi all, I need a little reality check here.

I am almost done with my first semester of FMHNP at a (very expensive) private university where I live. Everything is on-campus. I am also 14 weeks pregnant, I found out the weekend before classes started. I will deliver in early October, smack in the middle of the fall semester. I have already fallen behind in classes this semester (I have a B average so not terrible right now) due to terrible morning sickness and pregnancy brain making it hard to sit in class or retain information.

Until now I've been working about 8-16 hours a week, but it's really taking a toll on us financially. We live in an urban area with a high standard of living and we're hurting for money. My husband and I have been stressing about it really badly and last night we came to the conclusion that we have two options: pare our life down to the barest of minimums for the next two years while I finish the program (and I'll still have to work one or two days a week), or I drop out of school and go back to working full time so all we have to do is work and spend time with our baby.

FMHNP is my career goal. I love the school I'm going to (although the price tag is sickening). The profs seem very supportive, including my program director, but when it comes down to it, you're either in the practicum courses or you're not, and because we're so therapy-heavy my director told me I'd basically need to return to practicum right after delivery so I don't "disrupt the therapeutic dynamic of my cohort." I understand what she's saying, but it also seems laughable when I think about prioritizing it above my infant.

I'm beginning to wonder if this is the right path for me. I still want to be an FMHNP, but just going back to work FT and putting this off for another couple of years sounds like a vacation. I mean, what kind of time will I have with my infant if I'm going to school? When will I have time to read/study/write papers/spend time on Typhon?? How can I fit work into that? Pile on the stress of no money and it seems impossible. I can't imagine that I'm going to give birth and maintain interest in anything but my baby!!! I don't want to get deeper into this and be on the hook for more money if I should just return to floor nursing for a while and focus on this pregnancy and my baby. Anyone have experience with this that they can share???

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I was not in your exact situation, I found out I was pregnant right after being accepted into RN school. I thought about putting it off, but ended up moving forward and I am glad I did. I know that grad school is a whole other animal from nursing school, but as a mother of two now I can tell you there will always be a reason to put it off. It truly is not easier to go to school with a toddler than with an infant. With that being said, if you feel like you will be uncomfortable spending time on your studies or having to occasionally put homework in front of family time, then it may be best to wait. No matter what there will be days when you feel like you are not being the mother/wife/student/etc that you imagined, but doubt comes with any difficult decision. I can't give you an answer because this is truly a personal decision that your husband and you need to make.

This precious time with a newborn is unlike any other. However, one thing that ultimately tipped the scales for me is that someone told me that my baby will not remember how stressed and overworked I was when they were a year old, but a five year old will. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck.

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Wow...thank you. That really helped. Both in terms of thinking about having an infant vs. a toddler and especially that the baby won't remember but a school-aged child will.

I actually spoke with my advisor today and she's willing to be flexible with my courses and assignments so I can complete the program. I feel it would be silly not to take advantage of this opportunity and hey-- I'll be an NP in two short years!!

Thanks again for the warm advice :cat:

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That's good they are willing to work with you! Good luck, and congrats on the little one. :-)

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Specializes in Pediatrics, High-Risk L&D, Antepartum, L.
Wow...thank you. That really helped. Both in terms of thinking about having an infant vs. a toddler and especially that the baby won't remember but a school-aged child will.

I actually spoke with my advisor today and she's willing to be flexible with my courses and assignments so I can complete the program. I feel it would be silly not to take advantage of this opportunity and hey-- I'll be an NP in two short years!!

Thanks again for the warm advice :cat:

Just make sure you have details. An advisor can't change assignments given by an instructor. She can maybe help with spacing out classes...but she can't control a class. So if a class requires weekly papers and 20 hours of clinicals....I don't see how an advisor can change that or be "flexible".

Certainly it's probably worth pushing through a while longer and getting more done. I would also know what the policy if the school is for a leave of absence...that way you just have it handy should you need to consider it.

Only you can make the decision....just make sure the advisor is making promises she can keep.

If my advisor told me she could be flexible with my assignments...i would have one eyebrow up thinking "what?"

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Specializes in Urology NP.
I was not in your exact situation, I found out I was pregnant right after being accepted into RN school. I thought about putting it off, but ended up moving forward and I am glad I did. I know that grad school is a whole other animal from nursing school, but as a mother of two now I can tell you there will always be a reason to put it off. It truly is not easier to go to school with a toddler than with an infant. With that being said, if you feel like you will be uncomfortable spending time on your studies or having to occasionally put homework in front of family time, then it may be best to wait. No matter what there will be days when you feel like you are not being the mother/wife/student/etc that you imagined, but doubt comes with any difficult decision. I can't give you an answer because this is truly a personal decision that your husband and you need to make.

This precious time with a newborn is unlike any other. However, one thing that ultimately tipped the scales for me is that someone told me that my baby will not remember how stressed and overworked I was when they were a year old, but a five year old will. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck.

I agree with this. I have posted my story a few times because i was in a similar situation. After years of infertility we found out we we were expecting the same day i found out i was accepted to an fnp program. Complete surprise, exciting and terrifying. I started the program at about 10 weeks. I didnt have morning sickness so not exactly like your situation. But i worked full time until my third trimester which is when my started my clinical courses. I gave birth right after i completed the semester and 9 days before my next semester started up -full time. I did take 90 days maternity leave but then had to go back to work 25 hrs/wk with an infant and full time class (plus 24 clinical hrs/wk). I graduated the day before my daughter turned 1 with 3.9gpa.

Support system is huge!!! Between hubby, sisters, mother, in-laws, friends- i arranged for baby sitting for work, clinical, class, and study time. Had to be very, very organized. Hubby did her nighttime routine every night so i could stay up and study. He understood this was temporary and we had a mutual goal. Also i was blessed to have clinical sites within a few minutes from home.

I had an option to take a year off when she was born. But i knew i likely wouldnt go back especially with a wild toddler running around demanding so much attention. Sure i missed out on some things but i dont regret my decision to get it over with. Newborns/infants sleep a lot and i made the most of that time. Also, i pumped for six months so if you think this will ruin your hopes of breastfeeding, it wont. It was the most stressful and crazily busy time of my life but absolutely doable. Pregnancy gave me a whole new perspective for the future. It was no longer about me, or my hubby, it was ALL about her. Quitting/failure wasnt even an option.

So it can be done and i am proof. Congratulations on your pregnancy and best wishes for your future!

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Hi there, I'm assuming this is your first baby? I am in a full-time FNP program and I have a 20 month old. When I started he had just turned one, and it was a tough decision for me to return to school at that point. Prior to starting school I was working part time and enjoying life just getting to know my little one. It was a wonderful time. I think those precious quiet moments of having a new baby are so amazing and wonderful, life became something I hadn't really imagined. It's an experience you only get to have once. The thought of rushing back to my program after giving birth seems crazy to me now that I have lived both. But that is my own personal experience and you won't really know how you will feel. My thought is if you have an option to take a leave from school, you may want to explore it, and then when you do return to school, you will know your child, and will have some childcare set up. All of those firsts won't be occurring around the stress of school. First time leaving them with a caregiver, first time trying to give a bottle, first time they are sick… etc.

Anyway - it's hard to be torn. But if your heart is in pursuing your education, you will be excited to go back when the time comes. Good luck to you and enjoy your pregnancy!

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Just make sure you have details. An advisor can't change assignments given by an instructor. She can maybe help with spacing out classes...but she can't control a class. So if a class requires weekly papers and 20 hours of clinicals....I don't see how an advisor can change that or be "flexible".

Certainly it's probably worth pushing through a while longer and getting more done. I would also know what the policy if the school is for a leave of absence...that way you just have it handy should you need to consider it.

Only you can make the decision....just make sure the advisor is making promises she can keep.

If my advisor told me she could be flexible with my assignments...i would have one eyebrow up thinking "what?"

Ditto. I had an advisor in my RN-BSN program tell me not to worry about having a wedding and going off on a honeymoon two weeks prior to a class ending. I was told that the instructors are flexible and make up assignments can be accommodated for such circumstances. However, when I go to that point where I was getting closer towards the wedding date/honeymoon the instructor stated that there was no such thing as make up assignments and that I would just have to finish my work early. The instructor told me that the advisor had no right to tell me what they did. Needless to say, I did get everything done and end enjoyed that life event, but it was stressful.

I think you need to get more details about what exactly they CAN do for you in terms of being flexible.

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