ok, i am 26 years old... been married for nearly 6 years & have a 20 month old son. 6 years ago i was accepted into a lpn program, but suddenly had to move to ohio (yuk!) so i could not attend the program. since then i have worked full time as a customer service manager at 2 different stores and have researched nursing school here in ohio, but had no support from the family here (my husband's family, mine are in another state).
we had our son in may, 2007 & i have to say he is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me! i love my husband, and my son... more than anything! since then, we decided i would be a stay at home mom & care for our son full time. i have never objected... i love my life.
i did attempt to apply about a year ago for another lpn program, but because of lots of different factors (especially the lack of support from the in-laws) i quit thinking of it.
now - we live in a different area and are finally our own family! because of some recent financial issues (my husband was laid off in sep, worked in houston after hurricane ike, and is back as of thanksgiving) i decided now is the best time to finally go and get my lpn! lots of reasons... i have been trying to do this for more than 6 years... and should my husband be laid off again i can pick up shifts and make the same income level we need that he makes. (he is a lineman)
so, i applied and was accepted to brown mackie college to the pn program. i took the asset test & passed with flying colors (i was nervous about it!). and applied for financial aid. i was elegible for a small pell grant and a small amount of stafford loans. however it is not enough to cover it all (obviously)! we absolutely can not afford any more monthly payments right now. we have downsized as much as we can.
i am married, white and 26... there is nothing out there for me! it is so sad that if i were a single mom - i'd get my school all paid for, but because my husband and i value our marriage and refuse to leech off the government, there is nothing out there for me that i can find.
sorry, i don't mean to rant... i am just very frustrated! i am supposed to start on feb 2nd, but can't unless i can find additional funding!
ok... my question to you... does anyone know of one of three things... 1- a scholarship for nursing students - lpn program - and it doesn't matter if i'm married! 2- a grant 3- a guranteed approval student or personal loan... (we are obviously over extended right now and do not qualify for the sallie mae or chase private loan, with a mortgage, car pmt, cc pmts etc...)
i would more than appreciate any and all feedback. i am so very frustrated about all of this! i want to be a nurse so very much. it will allow me to truly help people, allow me to work part time and still be a full time mom & i'll make more than with a stupid retail job! i was in tears this evening i'm so aggrivated with all of this!
"thanks for the concern... but please try & be more kind. this is a career choice i have been looking into for nearly 7 years. i have done research and spent alot of time looking into the programs and talking to people who teach the programs, who administer the programs, who have graduated from the programs and who have hired nurses from the programs. please respect my decision to become a good lpn at this stage in my life. it is the choice my husband and i have made, and it will not be changed. god bless!"
sincere apologies if you think me or anyone else was being "unkind." it's just reality. no one, certainly not me was or is critcizing your choices, what i and others were commenting on was your "outrage" at the price of the school you were looking at, the inability to get financial assistance and the self-imposed scheduling conflicts you have with your desire to be with your child.
i appreciate the apology and understand the reality. i agree, after learning of some new programs that the price of the program i was looking into is absolutely absurd! i believe the inability of getting fa was largely due to the cost of the program. tomorrow i am actually going to look at 2 other programs in my area. as far as the self imposed scheduling conflicts, it is something we are working on, as a family and will do whatever we deem necessary to not compromise either.
a very wise person once told me that ..."if you have the sincere desire to accomplish something, you have to be willing to remove all the roadblocks you put up and not expect payment from others (financial or otherwise)..."
thank you for that! i appreciate the sentiment... and this is exactly what i am doing right now.
what that means is if you really want this, you'll find a way to do it on your own and look at any perks you get (i.e. financial aid, child care, etc) as just a bonus.....i've been down that path, and found a way to pay for my choices (not just financial) without help from anyone/anything in the equation. when i did earn a scholarship(s), a free book from someone, or a free meal, etc it was not only a huge bonus, it made me more appreciatative and determined to do well and give back whenever i could.....i hope you remember your experiences as you're going through them - there's a lot of people just like you that you could "pay it forward" to by giving them an expensive book you no longer need, a kind word when they get stuck in a class or just a simple cup of coffee...
amen - i certainly agree and try to practice the 'pay it forward' concept. and believe me, if i am so lucky to earn a scholarship, or a discount on books or whatever it may be - it will be just that - a huge bonus!!! praise god for those! and, i do plan to 'pay it forward'...
life ain't easy and choices are sometimes hard - sometimes you have to sacrafice more than you would like to - which is all good as long as you keep your eye on the ball - it typically is worth it in the end....
we are all prepared for the sacrifices necessary. and if it all works according to plan - my family will not be part of that sacrifice. (i may not sleep for days on end... but that's no different than being a new mama with an infant!!)
you have chosen a "tough row to hoe" and are doing what a lot people do - chasing their goals while maintaining their lives - it's not easy and not everyone takes the same path - they do what works for them - you have very obviously chosen your path - you don't have to defend it or explain it - go do it! the paths that others have taken and shared with you aren't wrong or unkind to you personally because it doesn't work for you. people are only sharing the wisdom of making mistakes along the way and trying to "pay it forward" by adverting someone else from having to learn the hard way too.....
go do it!! that's exactly what i'm planning to do - finally! after 7 years! i understand the 'tough road to hoe' is just that... a tough one. but - my husband and i have looked at all the options and have decided that the program (11 month lpn) is the best one to take right now.
by the way, my "day job" i.e. what pays for school and life is working in transmission and distribution for my local electric company - your husband, a lineman, doesn't have an easy road himself - i'm sure he needs your support as much as your child - adding to your already full plate......using your time wisely will be the biggest battle at accomplishing your goals...
how cool is that?? working in transmission & distribution!! what exactly do you do? and you are right... my husband does not have an easy road. he could be called out during an ice storm and work 30 + hours! (and has done this several times) he just got home during thanksgiving after being gone since hurricane ike hit - he was in houston, tx re-building lines & restoring utilities. you are right, he needs my support and he is my #1 priority - and he knows that! another obstacle we have to over come is wtih his career he is often out of town working. but believe me, i understand that using my time wisely and knowing where to compromise is the biggest battle and we are sorting that out as we speak.
thak you so much for your explination. i certainly do welcome and appreciate any and all advice. btw - the program i am currently looking at is between $10k & $12k for the entire lpn program.
i've been following your posts for awhile. and (unlike some others) i have read them all and have not found anything you said to be offensive!! i completely understand your frustration. and i also know that when people are venting in frustration they make generalized comments and not intend them to be offensive. i totally back you up on that!
thank you!!!
i think you must be a wonderful mother! i love how you've constantly said you're not willing to sacrifice time with your children and you're not wanting to constantly be carting them off to daycare. you're awesome!!! i will be starting my first semester of nursing school on the 20th. i have two little girls (4 and 21 months) and my hubby works two jobs just trying to get us from one month to the next. we are completely paying for me to go to school with student loans (though my program is from a smaller college and not a private university). since i went back to school a year ago, we have not had to leave our girls with anyone (except for an occasional time with my cousin's wife). we have worked out our schedules so that one of us is almost always with them. it makes it so much easier for me to focus at school when i know they're at home and taken care of. i completely understand your desire to do the same.
wow - i think you are awesome!!! i couldn't imagine basically never being able to see my husband! (and i am pretty much forgoing the idea of a private school - rediculously over priced!) that is great that you haven't had to rely on anyone - accept for on occasion - to care for your girls. praise god for flexible schedules!
and my desire to be with my son is so great because of the fact that i lost my mother and father very tragically in 1996. i want to spend every minute possible with my baby!!!
i wish i had some great advice for you. i remember your first post saying how you've already been accepted into this program which starts pretty soon. i know a lot of posters have advised you to hold off on going to school. if you're anything like me - you totally don't want to do that! especially when you've already tried doing this so many times. when you work so hard for something and it's finally in reach - it's not easy to let go of that. so, i'm not going to tell you to drop your program and wait forever before being able to get accepted into another program (since you'll have to transfer all your classes, and possibly take extra ones). i'm just going to wish you the best of luck at being able to afford the one you've been accepted into. i hope that all these great people who suggested other financial options have found something that might work for you!!
thank you for not discouraging me. and no - i do not want to wait any longer, or go into the military. i've been waiting for 7 years... enough is enough!
don't ever stop being such a great mom!!! and i'm sure your little ones will forgive you for the time you have to spend away from them. someday all this stress will totally be worth it (i keep telling myself that and you should to)! good luck!!!:selfbonk: and don't beat yourself up too much for whatever decision you decide to make! :)
praise god for friends like you!!! i pray for the best of luck to you and your family also!!! god bless
Glad you seemed to have found a program that meets your needs - but here's another word of advice - JUSTADVICE from an experienced "old broad." You might want to consider toning down the defensive attitude - you ripped into BabyLady when she was giving you ADVICE - I re-read her comments more than once and I feel it was a thoughtful response to you and your situation - she has children and was merely sharing her experiences when her children were young and she was in school - she didn't critcize you or your choices, yet you felt a need to berate and dismiss her........you ripped into me when I was trying to share the "dirty little secrets" of trade/tech schools (even the ones that have "college" in their name)...this was my 2 cents of paying it forward from being hoodwinked by "professionals" and trying to save someone else from their poisonous talons....No one in these posts that I can see was even remotely attacking you personally - only sharing their experiences to try and help you with the dilemma you were/are in. Again, from experience, I will tell you that you're going to experience ALOT of people that intentionally treat you poorly for no other reason than you are a student, and they were treated badly when they were in training, so you get to "get" it too...it's not fair, but believe me, it's going to be there whether you like it or not....if you want to get through the program, you just have to take it or find another profession....if you raise the hair on your back and "defend" yourself when no one is attacking you at every correction, constructive criticizism or intentionally trying to get under your skin in the course of your training, you're going to have a horrible, miserable 14 months.....and that's just your preceptors and docs....the patients are another story again.....doesn't make it right - it's just what is.
Try and grow a thicker skin, take people's words for face value rather than reading something into it that isn't there.....
Please believe me when I tell you I'm not criticizing - I've seen way too many a young girl under a lot of pressure such as yourself self destruct because they took EVERYTHING personally - as you "young" kids say nowadays - it's not all about you....when people truly ARE directing nastiness at you - remember my words - it's not about you - it's about them being unhappy with themselves....again, doesn't make it right - it just is.
Last thing, I promise - putting in a God Bless or using God's name to end a sharp or nasty comment doesn't make it any less sharp or nasty and certainly doesn't absolve you from hurting someone else's feelings....in todays world, using God or His name in the course of your work or dealings with others is a risky thing to do - it can be off putting to someone that may not be of your faith or belief - you never know who you may be dealing with. As it should be in all business, but particularly in health care you have to learn to be as neutral and professional as possible - the first, second and last thing taught in business and the military is NEVER EVER get in conversations about religion or politics....you NEVER know who you're talking to....you can cross your arms and hold your breath if you want to and scream at the top of your lungs that no one is going to diminish your faith and beliefs and that's OK, just remember that you also don't have the right to impose it on others...
Just friendly, sincere words of advice - nothing more.
BTW, in response to the "electrical" question - I'm just one of many supervisors in dispatch and transmission - deal with high and low line guys daily....interesting industry - only been there for a couple of years - came from 20+ yrs in aviation...now I'm going to be a nurse......one of these days I'll figure out what I want to be when I grow up! One thing I figured out FOR SURE - when you take yourself too seriously you never have any fun!!
Good luck - SINCERELY - good luck - I know you're under a lot of pressure - it's easier said than done, but take a step back and take a deep breath...it will all come together eventually - I promise.
glad you seemed to have found a program that meets your needs - but here's another word of advice - justadvice from an experienced "old broad." you might want to consider toning down the defensive attitude - you ripped into babylady when she was giving you advice - i re-read her comments more than once and i feel it was a thoughtful response to you and your situation - she has children and was merely sharing her experiences when her children were young and she was in school - she didn't critcize you or your choices, yet you felt a need to berate and dismiss her........you ripped into me when i was trying to share the "dirty little secrets" of trade/tech schools (even the ones that have "college" in their name)...this was my 2 cents of paying it forward from being hoodwinked by "professionals" and trying to save someone else from their poisonous talons....
i'm sorry if it seemed that way, but i was in no way 'ripping into' anyone. i am meerly tired of people saying that i should get my rn now, instead of my lpn when i have already made it adundantly clear that it is my choice now to be an lpn first. i don't see any of my comments or responses as 'ripping into' anyone else. i have always mantained a 'thank you' to all who have offered advice to me, as that is what i am looking for.
as far as the tech/trade school thing... i do appreciate your experience, but not all are out for the dollar as you say. not all are evil... some are out for the best interest of the student and making sure they do succeed in the path they have chosen. again, i do appreciate your experience and will have a better sence of what to look for due to the things you have said. thank you for that.
no one in these posts that i can see was even remotely attacking you personally - only sharing their experiences to try and help you with the dilemma you were/are in. again, from experience, i will tell you that you're going to experience alot of people that intentionally treat you poorly for no other reason than you are a student, and they were treated badly when they were in training, so you get to "get" it too...it's not fair, but believe me, it's going to be there whether you like it or not....if you want to get through the program, you just have to take it or find another profession....if you raise the hair on your back and "defend" yourself when no one is attacking you at every correction, constructive criticizism or intentionally trying to get under your skin in the course of your training, you're going to have a horrible, miserable 14 months.....and that's just your preceptors and docs....the patients are another story again.....doesn't make it right - it's just what is.
try and grow a thicker skin, take people's words for face value rather than reading something into it that isn't there.....
ok, i know there are people that will attack me just because i am a student, or for many other reasons. i do have a 'thick skin' due to the live i have lived in my short 26 years. i appreciate the experiences of others who have been in similar shoes as i. i understand that no one may try to personally attack me... but people could be a bit more kind in their 'advice' or 'responses'. that is all i was saying.
please believe me when i tell you i'm not criticizing - i've seen way too many a young girl under a lot of pressure such as yourself self destruct because they took everything personally - as you "young" kids say nowadays - it's not all about you....when people truly are directing nastiness at you - remember my words - it's not about you - it's about them being unhappy with themselves....again, doesn't make it right - it just is.
believe me, if i took everything personally... i would have been dead a long time ago! when my father killed my mother then himself, i would have melted then... instead of taking the higher road and trying to make sure i end up nothing like them. that is my mission... to make sure that my family and my children are nothing like i had to go through as a child/teenager. i know i am still pretty 'young' in years... but in mindset, not so much. i lost my childhood a long time ago. people (even people in my own family) did direct nastiness towards me - in personal attacks - and seared my reputation... i seperated myself from them and refuse any contact between them and my children. believe me, i do know that it's not all about me.
last thing, i promise - putting in a god bless or using god's name to end a sharp or nasty comment doesn't make it any less sharp or nasty and certainly doesn't absolve you from hurting someone else's feelings....in todays world, using god or his name in the course of your work or dealings with others is a risky thing to do - it can be off putting to someone that may not be of your faith or belief - you never know who you may be dealing with. as it should be in all business, but particularly in health care you have to learn to be as neutral and professional as possible - the first, second and last thing taught in business and the military is never ever get in conversations about religion or politics....you never know who you're talking to....you can cross your arms and hold your breath if you want to and scream at the top of your lungs that no one is going to diminish your faith and beliefs and that's ok, just remember that you also don't have the right to impose it on others...
i take very much offense to this. i never use god's name to end a nasty comment - i have not made any 'nasty' comments! i don't care if using the name of god is 'risky', or if it is 'offputting'. god is the only reason i am alive today! i am not ashamed of my love for my savior! i never condem anyone who does not believe the way i do, never tell people they are 'wrong' because they don't believe the way i do. i know what i believe and why i believe it. i did not grow up in a 'christain' home, but have chosen to live as such and bring up my family as such as i am an adult. i"m sorry... i don't believe there are any 'neutral' professions. god is and should be in everything!!! i don't cross my arms, hold my breath, scream or hollar... i just believe - and pray. i do not impose that on others - i do bestow the blessings of god on everyone! whether you believe in his amazing creation or not.
one of these days i'll figure out what i want to be when i grow up! one thing i figured out for sure - when you take yourself too seriously you never have any fun!!
amen to this!!! but - i'm never going to grow up!! (sure hope not anyways!)
good luck - sincerely - good luck - i know you're under a lot of pressure - it's easier said than done, but take a step back and take a deep breath...it will all come together eventually - i promise.
that's what i"m praying for... if it's supposed to happen, as long as i take the steps i should... it will all fall into place.
I can't begin to adequately express my appreciation to all of those that have taken so much of their time to try to provide assistance to one that they perceived to be in need. -as a wonderful friend of mine from 'down under' would say: "GOOD ON YA!"
As I am one of God's creatures that was born with a 'Martian' perspective, I have to confess to have watched with some amusement as so many of my 'Venetian' sisters-in-arms have made the classic misstep that it took my wife a decade and a half to cure me of... wanting to step in and provide a solution (fix things) for somebody that wanted merely to have a compassionate sounding board to help them to make the hurting stop, but that in reality had no intention whatsoever of letting someone else in to help actually resolve their dilemma.
Please know that the suggestions offered were sound and will unquestionably help an untold number of others that will see the wisdom and value in your counsel.
'We hope that you've enjoyed your visit to Mars, and will come back to visit often!... On next week's tour we'll be visiting the village of "I've made up my mind, now don't confuse me with the facts!"
Blue - what a prophet you are! I was waiting for my favorite Einstein quote...the definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over expecting different results...unfortunately combating organized religion and its extreme departure from reality is the battle I still have a hard time resisting...
Thank you for your post.....ahhh to be young again!
What do you mean leach off the government? There is NO distinction between married and unmarried mothers on the FAFSA. The only difference is they consider your husband's finances along with yours. It's no different for students under 24 whose parents' finances are considered regardless of whether their parents will help fund their education or not. Financial aid only gives you grants and loans for school and expenses incurred in school (not food stamps or anything of that nature) and is based off of your NEED. Don't criticize people because they don't have a second income coming in or didn't make as much money as your family did last year. Your NEED, and YOUR NEED alone based on last tax year has determined your financial aid package so your circumstances are the only things that can be blamed here.
You being married has nothing to do with it. If my husband had a low income and I had no income (and if I didn't have a B.A. degree already) I would be rolling in the financial aid regardless of marriage. If I were a single mother who made 50,000 a year, financial aid would probably be close to nonexistant. Point? You being married has NOTHING to do with your need. Your family income does.
My mom was a single mother (who received no public assistance because she made to much money) when I went to undergraduate school and I received 5,000/semester financial aid. So clearly, hard working Americans, who don't live off of public assistance are not discriminated against by the federal government.
Thank you for saying this!
I am a single mother of a 12 year old son and I did NOT qualify for financial aid because I made over 55K at my previous job prior to going to nursing school. Because I did not already have a Bachelor's Degree, I got the Stafford Loan, but I got plenty of schalorships based on my GPA. In addition, my school pays for part of my tutition if I agree to work for one of their hospitals upon graduation. The Stafford Loans and scharlorships covered what was left over.
And thanks to PERSONAL savings, I still had to pay my mortgage every month.
I was in your boat not so long ago. I had to take some time in between to work and save, and in the end, it ended up being cheaper for me to enroll in an RN program at the community college vs the LPN program (2k/semester vs 7500/semester). The yearly tuition was actually cheaper, and the school had more options when it came to loans, scholarships, and financing. Yes, I work full time, which makes it difficult to find time to study and be with my family, AND I'll be up to my neck in loans when I graduate, (but won't go into repayment until after graduation), but if you want something bad enough, you make sacrifices. If it was easy, everybody would do it. In a perfect world, it wouldn't cost anything to attend, but if you want it to work, don't stop until it does!!
One thing I figured out FOR SURE - when you take yourself too seriously you never have any fun!!
RutterMama
85 Posts
thak you so much for your explination. i certainly do welcome and appreciate any and all advice. btw - the program i am currently looking at is between $10k & $12k for the entire lpn program.