Hi everyone, I am new to this website and board. I have a big dilemma that I need some feedback on. I moved down south last July to take a nursing job in an Open Heart/Surgical ICU. I had 4 years of nursing experience, 3 in cardiopulmonary stepdown. I moved my two children and myself to an area where I had no family and friends, in order to take this job. I thought this would be a great opportunity..better job, better salary, better climate, and a HOUSE of my own for the first time in my divorced life. The problem I face is that some of the more senior nurses expect the newer nurses to be at the same working knowledge as they are. The doctors (99% of whom have no respect for the nurses) have NO respect for the new nurses--it is a big anxiety time when they make rounds in the morning. If I don't turn my wrist the right way to cut a suture, he snaps at me in front of the patient..etc etc. You get the point, I am sure. Obviously our mind reading capabilities are not quite up to par with the more senior nurses..haha. I feel the new nurses are "being tested"..to see if we can take it. I had a charge nurse (who isn't in charge very often because of her lack of ability and poor attitude) who basically let me drown with a dying patient, then reported to the dayshift charge that I "couldn't handle it". I waited a week to calm down and discussed it with my manager, and told her my side of the story. I asked her if there was a problem with my work--the answer was no. The manager offered to intervene, and I declined, as I have found that "discussions" with management usually do no good in matters like this. I told her I would practice avoidance for now, and thanked her for her offer. I switched my weekend schedule around (which I had already planned on doing prior to this), and am just avoiding that nurse in general. I guess I feel that the job is just too hard to have to deal with people like that.
There have been a few other things go on, but the core of my question is this---what do the new ICU nurses have to do to survive? I'm not a new graduate, I have knowledge and experience to offer. But how can I succeed when a charge nurse feels that "her" way is the only way? At this point, I took some vacation time this week to relax, and have done a lot of thinking about this job. I don't even want to take care of open heart patients anymore, if it means having to go through this on a daily basis. My confidence has been undermined, and if I felt comfortable in my knowledge and skills in ICU, I would just laugh it off. But I only have 6 months worth of ICU experience under my belt and know that there is sooo much more to learn and absorb. Unfortunately, the learning environment is structured more like "throw them to the wolves". I talked about this with some newer nurses that have been in this unit a bit longer than myself. What they told me is this---you will get to a point where you don't care. That is the answer?? To not care? A little kindness goes so far, and it takes so much less energy to be nice. So, could anyone please offer up some advice to me? Maybe I need to grow some bigger shoulders...Thanks.
