A while ago, I posted on here about choosing which area to work. You all were very helpful, so now I'm back.
Don't get me wrong. I am extremely glad I chose to work where I did. There is pretty much no incidence of older nurses eating their young and I'm supremely grateful for that. But I feel like I'm drowning. I really do not feel like I am doing a lot with my life, but somehow I still have no social life and I do not have the energy to go to the gym. Self care is minimal and I have lost friendships, as well as a potential relationship due to time demands. I've been off orientation for a couple months now.
There are several factors that go into this --
1) I am doing online RN-BSN courses that are more demanding than I thought. I am about to have a 76 average in a leadership class because of one final paper that I wrote with a group of other RNs that just did not come together as planned. I'm disappointed.
2) I have a mentorship program at work that is a required 6 month commitment with social events like luncheons. They are once a month, with one experienced RN mentor assigned to a group of 5-6 new grads. It can be helpful and nice, but if you don't go they make you sign some kind of paper and talk to your manager. The first two events have been at 10-11 AM when I work the night before. As far as speaking to this mentor about my situation, talking about all this in person feels wrong. It's worth mentioning that I'm pretty stoic and don't talk about feelings a lot. I might not even post this.
3) Typical new grad RN work stress? Maybe you remember feeling this way your first year. Is this normal? I feel as if I am always making mistakes. I was 30 minutes late to a shift three weeks ago and I cannot forgive myself about it. Twice I missed retaking vital signs when there is a blood pressure outside normal range. I am not comfortable drawing blood, transfusing blood or starting Foleys just yet although I have the competency to. (I know blood requires dual sign off--I mean setting up the tubing, doing the monitoring etc. on my own). I get nervous to talk to the on-call providers (mid levels, usually). I have to ask for help 2-5 times per shift from the charge RN or my coworkers. I am not afraid to ask for help, but I think my requests might be excessive. I lose sleep thinking about these things.
Should I have stayed on orientation longer? Do I need to just suck it up? Am I not cut out for this? Please be honest with me.
This is, or was, my dream. Graduating and passing the NCLEX were among the proudest moments of my life. I felt like I was finally taking steps in the right direction. Now I don't know.
Can you slow down your academic progress and take a slower route through your BSN program? You didn't say how many classes you were trying to take per semester. I have seen many new grads "shoot themselves in the foot" by taking too many classes per semester. They are so over-committed that they barely have time to breathe, much less relax and recover from the stress of work. The transition from student to professional is hard: you know that. So plan your life and commitments to give yourself some time to maintain your mental health. That means "don't schedule yourself for too many outside commitments (such as school) at one time." They end up burned out with poor grades and a mediocre professional reputation at work.
Give yourself the best chance possible to succeed in work and school and life -- by not trying to do so much at one time.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Sounds like typical first job stuff to me -- we all went through it. I felt like the most stupid nurse ever licensed, and had a really hard time my first year. The hospital mostly hired their own diploma grads (clinical 8 hours a day 3-4 days a week) and I was a BSN -- 8 hours of clinical a week. I couldn't start IVs, drop NGs, place Foleys . . . I had to learn everything, including how to clean a poopy bed. (Thank you again to the LPNs and CNAs who taught me everything I know!)
It takes about a year, and then something "clicks" and you start discovering that you CAN get through a shift and even know something about what you're doing. You'll get there. You just have to GO through it to GET through it.
llg, PhD, RN
13,469 Posts
Can you slow down your academic progress and take a slower route through your BSN program? You didn't say how many classes you were trying to take per semester. I have seen many new grads "shoot themselves in the foot" by taking too many classes per semester. They are so over-committed that they barely have time to breathe, much less relax and recover from the stress of work. The transition from student to professional is hard: you know that. So plan your life and commitments to give yourself some time to maintain your mental health. That means "don't schedule yourself for too many outside commitments (such as school) at one time." They end up burned out with poor grades and a mediocre professional reputation at work.
Give yourself the best chance possible to succeed in work and school and life -- by not trying to do so much at one time.