anxious..going back to nursing

[SamRoseRN]

hi.. ive been out of nursing for almost more down 5 years. i quit many years ago due to anxiety. a little info about me, aside from having anxiety and depression, i have extremely low self esteem and i am highly sensitive and forgetful. i forget things in a matter of 1, 2, 3 seconds. It happens often now, and my doc gave me something to "cure" my inattention. (forgetfulness). The dc check my memory and i was negative for neurological disease. I got a perferct score on the test. Ok going back, The dose was increased but... i dont find relief. What bothers me is if i went back to being a nurse, i wont be able to control my anxiety and i was so frustrated with my forgefulness. I am not good with details. I read somewhere that depressed people are prone to this. I often make errors when i write something , lets say a info sheet in the hospital. Like when u are about to get confined. I didnt recognized that i should put the last name first, although it was indicated.

2 years ago i saw a pdoc and he said that everything that i wrote in the paper (everything that i felt during the training) was begginer's jitters. I mean he is a doctor. He knows what he is talking about. But why do i still feel this way?? I just feel i will be overwhelmed when im on the area. i dont know what to do. I need to make decision fast. I dont want to go to doctors anymore. They cant solve my inattention or forgetfulness no matter what meds they give.

[setsuna92]

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I'm not too familiar with forgetfulness like yours. I do experience some mild forgetfulness myself, and I think you should develop a plan of action to cope with this forgetfulness. For example, carry a note book with you and write important things you need to do and check them off, or keeping a calendar and making it a routine to look at it everyday. I don't know if it will help because everyone is different. And don't mind that doctor. If you left the profession and have this crippling anxiety, that is NOT beginners jitters. Not all doctors are good with words or with patients overall. When I was admitted to a psych hospital, the first thing the doctor told me was that I was stupid for feeling the way I did, and that sometimes he doesn't know what he is doing sometimes too. In retrospect, I think that guy was crazy. But my point is, find help. If you see that a doctor is not helping you and is only belittling your feelings, then that might not be the doctor for you. Find someone who will listen and discuss treatment with you. It might take awhile, but it's worth it when you start feeling like yourself again. :)

[setsuna92]

The system is not letting me reply to your message so I'll do it here. I totally understand what you're saying. I had to face those issues too. I left the bedside for a job in the mental health field which paid way less than floor nursing. I had to downsize in many areas like traveling, my apartment, daycare. I learned how to budget. Even though I had to accommodate to a different lifestyle, it was so worth it. I'm much more stable and I'm not scared of going to work anymore. Find a job that makes you feel that way.