anxiety and frustration at work

[sisafua]

Your professional advice In this regard would be really appreciate...

I am working in a LTC, when I started I was CNA for about half a year, although I was registered there was no LVN opening at the time, it was my first job and so my foot in the door was so important as a single parent of 2 kids. After the half year, I asked that the employer puts me on PRN shifts in addition, then after a little while I asked that I do just LVN PRN. I did PRN for almost a year, THE ONLY ORIENTATION I GOT was 3 shifts as a new grad, so I learn as new challenges come, I ask the seasoned nurses on other units. seven months after doing PRN a new ADON was hired in the work place, she was young with some LTC experience and she is a friend with the existing DON, When I met her because she was young I was honest with her and told her how I struggle with the computer system cos the system they use is not a familiar one from the ones in the hospitals I did my clinicals, so whenever she comes around I asked her questions. I also told her when I started as a nurse, and that I was a CNA. Maybe I told her too much, I thought she would sympathize with me for my struggling and inexperience to mentor me on how things work in LTC. Cos sometimes I cant draw the line when to call family even?

This rather made her have a negative notion about my inexperienced, and started picking every little mistake on my part.

One day the CNA told me she saw a pinch of blood on one resident's when cleaning her, meanwhile the person was already dressed and put in her wheelchair, so I requested to take a look at it next time she changes her, this person is someone in so much pain when you position her cos of her stroke, the next time I asked the CNA if she did not change the person she said she did but did not see the sting of blood, so in my mind the CNA is experience, she would not lie to me for no reason, so therefore I assumed it was out of constipation that the blood sting was on the tissue. The next 2 days I came by I was called to office to sign a verbal warning as I have neglected someone, and the way the letter was written was more than a written warning, cos it as so intensed.., I signed cos I admitted I should have not trusted the CNA, ADON said cos I did not take a look the ulcer is now a stage3, when I had one shift on that unit. three months later she called to write me up again, this time it will be written warning, then I filed grievance cos she had bullied me that day which I had a witness and for the first time I replied, so she was going to use her power, so I told the union all that she has been doing. Union called a meeting btn the DON, HR and myself, from that time she has slowed down a bit, but now she will feed the DON to come with her to speak to me on issues while she sits there.

Those issues that are trivial, that no one gets called into the office but they will call me and tell me they have a meeting with me and it brings a lot of anxiety. She called me at home about some documentation I did, but was put In a wrong place and other steps that were missed in addition to my documentation, I thanked her on the phone and told her my next shift I would fix it as I just got a part time position about a month ago,. To cut a long story short, must one always get reprimanded for something trivial that did not or could not harm anyone?, I get called in to the office too often than my colleagues and even my colleagues feel the same way and sympathizes with me. I want to settle matters with the DON and ADON amicably as I do cry at work sometimes and even at home. I use to love going to work but now it feels like a burden going there, knowing that I will be reprimanded even before I get the opportunity to learn and correct anything. I don't like the tension, I feel because I went to union its even gonna make the ADON and DON stick together against me. Having said all these things am also assessing myself why this is happening???, I have good relationship with my colleagues and the CNA's, no issues at all.., how do I approach them before another "come to office". I think I need to move one but looking for job where I am can be very difficult, but I feel strongly that the least thing they will find a way to terminate my employment cos the ADON and myself are not getting along too well, they both feel am too defensive, which is the truth cos I have realized the ADON has no good intenstions about me so I defend myself when I don't agree, cos before I was just quiet and she will do anything to me but I have decided to stand up for myself and they both cant stand it, she said I called her a liar x2, she told DON she asked me to come to work to fix my paper work and I said no am not coming, which was not the case so honestly I said pls that's a lie.... PLEASE WHAT SHOULD I DO, HOW DO I APPROACH THEM TO END THID WAR I CALL IT, AM LOOKING ELSE WHERE, but before then..

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Your post is very difficult to read. I'm wondering if perhaps some of your problems at work stem from poor communication skills.

If I'm understanding you correctly, you started out in a CNA position even though you were an LPN. I'm not sure why you would take an unlicensed position if you were licensed, or even if such a thing is legal. I can understand why a new administrator would have issues with that as well.

It sounds as if you glommed on to the new administrator and, in an effort to make her want to mentor you, you told her too much about your knowledge deficits and insecurities. You knew she was the administrator when you did so, so I'm not understanding why you thought that was a good thing to do. Possibly you could have considering looking for mentor ship among the nurses who are doing the same job you're doing. If you must ask questions of your boss, make sure they're questions appropriate for her job description. For instance, asking an administrator about the charting system (especially one new to the facility) isn't going to get you much helpful information because unless they're at the bedside daily, they don't USE the charting system for charting and may not understand your problems with it or know the solutions.

No wonder your boss started watching your practice and noticing every little mistake. YOU told her you were incompetent. What is she supposed to do? When you didn't check out the report of bleeding on a patient, you DID neglect her. So no wonder the administrator wanted to talk to you about it.

About filing a grievance for bullying -- you don't describe the incident. Perhaps the union didn't think it rose to the standard of bullying? Regardless, filing a grievance for bullying isn't going to make the administrators like you more or make them want to take you under their wing and mentor you. In all likelihood, they are now looking for documentation on you in order to move you along the disciplinary path toward termination. So yes, they're picking apart your practice.

I don't think there's any way to save your job, so I hope you're looking diligently for a new one. Finding a new job BEFORE you get fired would be best. Advice for in the mean time is to think long and hard about all the things you've done to contribute to your current situation so that you don't make the same mistakes again in your next job.

[sisafua]

I could not mention about the abuse cos of privacy, but it was more of belittling and disrespect which others had witness. I agree with you that I showed myself to be vulnerable which contributed to her not trusting my abilities. one reason being; she constantly complained of the staff in that place being incompetent and everyone is not doing the right thing. And I did not know any better than what I learnt from that place, so I tried to gloom as you put it, to learn pieces from her. Yes she knows the computer system very well cos she comes around and show us how to do stuff on the computer. From what I gather she has experience working in LTC before rising to her position.

thanks for your time and advise.