An issue I have

[niceguytx]

I know that being a male nurse makes me a minority where I work because most of the nurses are female. I have to admit that I really don't care to hear about the who/what/where/how many times of their sex life though. I feel this is not professional. If they want to talk about it, it should be on their break in private not on the floor where patients can hear them. Some of them wonder why I don't talk much. I don't like to get involved in the drama of everyone's lives. I stick to myself and take great care of my patient's. Just getting this off my chest...lol

Thanks for listening,

Robert

[rn/writer, RN]

I know what you mean about not wanting to hear all the gory details of someone else's life.

It isn't gender specific. Might seem so because you work with women. But if you worked with men, you'd see similar conversations. The form might not be exactly the same, but there is always someone (and sometimes a few) who thinks everyone is waiting to hear the next installment in the, "All About Me," show.

Most of us would prefer to avoid hearing or even thinking about our coworkers' sex lives. There are images I just don't want taking up space in my head.

Same goes for drama.

As far as keeping to yourself, you could bring up inoffensive topics to try to engage others in conversation. Or be ready to contribute if someone else does. Things like food, TV, recreational pursuits (non-sexual, of course), vacations, family (in a positive light). If you do this, you reward those who are doing it right, and you make yourself more at home on the unit.

It's okay if you don't want to be best pals with your fellow employees, but it's probably not good to be seen as too standoff-ish. Be pleasant, discreet, kind, and open to healthy connection. This will help you to get past being the "male nurse" on the unit and morph into one of the gang in the good sense.

I wish you well.

[Asklepios]

I remember getting my first business job out of college, and I was assigned to a team with several women. I had to get used to hearing about how hot this or that guy was, but they usually were good about not going into too much detail when it came to their own situations. And after a while, I'd overhear them talking and I'd make a joke about something. They soon accepted me as one of the "girls" and even asked me for man advice a lot.

I think some guys would see this as a sign of non-manliness, but I just looked at it as interacting with my co-workers. What was I going to do, make them talk about football with me? I could have just kept to myself, done my job, and then gone home. But they were a good group of people and I liked the interaction.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I worked at a factory for 3 years. This factory had about 500 employees, but only 60 of us were women.

Since the factory was so male-dominated, I heard "guy talk" every single day and night that I had ever spent at work. The guys would discuss issues about female body parts, body types, sexual positions, ex-girlfriends, ex-wives, current lovers, weight problems, and so forth.

Explicit, dramatic chatting is not limited to females.

[santhony44, MSN, RN, NP]

As far as keeping to yourself, you could bring up inoffensive topics to try to engage others in conversation. Or be ready to contribute if someone else does. Things like food, TV, recreational pursuits (non-sexual, of course), vacations, family (in a positive light). If you do this, you reward those who are doing it right, and you make yourself more at home on the unit.

It's okay if you don't want to be best pals with your fellow employees, but it's probably not good to be seen as too standoff-ish. Be pleasant, discreet, kind, and open to healthy connection. This will help you to get past being the "male nurse" on the unit and morph into one of the gang in the good sense.

I agree with this advice.

I'd go a bit farther. Look around you and see who on the unit doesn't seem to participate in the TMI discussions.

Start striking up conversations with those people.

When the personal stuff starts, turn to that person: "Hey, Jane, did your dog have those puppies yet?" Ask something that is appropriate to that person and appropriate to where you are. Most people have things they love to talk about other than their sex lives.

Usually all it takes is paying attention to details. Wearing team logos, having kids' pictures on the locker, having reading material, even what food they bring in can lead to pleasant, healthy conversations.

Believe me, I'd rather carry on a conversation about just about anything other than someone's sex life or drama.

There are probably other people on your unit who would be more than happy to have other topics discussed.

Good luck!