An amazing clinical

[augurey]

It's not that there was anything special or extraordinary about the day, but it was a good day. I was very nervous before starting clinicals. I'm the shy/introvert that couldn't even order my own meals in restaurants because I was too shy until about 25. I knew it was something I needed to overcome if I wanted to get into nursing. I worked on speaking up and reaching out more. I got myself to a place where I walked confidently into my first day and had no issues conversing with my new classmates. I knew clinical would be a totally different story.

My very first clinical (I'm just wrapping up my first semester) was awful. The first clinical day they pair you up. As there was an odd number, I was on my own. I remember feeling the blood drain from my face. It was a very awkward day. By the time I arrived at post conference, the look on my face said it all. I had classmates asking me what was wrong. I honestly wasn't sure if I could get through the rest of the semester or have what it takes to be a nurse.

Each clinical after that, I started feeling slightly more confident with the confidence growing as each day passed. My stomach would be in knots every morning. Fortunately from the third clinical onwards, I started feeling happier with the clinical experience as I began to see my progress and feeling more comfortable in my skills and communication with my patient.

Today was the first day that my stomach wasn't in knots beforehand. I actually looked forward to today. Today is the day that everything started feeling natural. I didn't have to give myself a pep talk before going to see the patient. I looked forward to checking in on my patient. Conversation came so easily. It was comfortable and natural. I enjoyed talking with the patient and helping her with anything.

I went in before the end of my shift to see if there was anything else I could do before I left. Before I left, my patient told me that I made her smile and she wished me luck. Even throughout my shift, she'd laugh with me as we'd talk. I know this all seems so insignificant, but for the first time I felt like I actually made a difference. I don't think any of the things I did really did much in helping her get better (physically), but it was an awesome feeling to know that I was able to bring her some happiness while in the hospital. Hospital stays can be miserable and lonely, and I'm happy to know that I was able to make it a little bit better for her.

I've left the last few clinicals feeling like I can do this and that I definitely feel that this is the right choice for me, but I feel like today made the greatest impact on me. I don't know if it was my confidence, feeling comfortable, or if it was my patient and seeing how I can make a difference, no matter how big or small.

I know I'll be battling the confidence issue as I go through school and learn new skills and encounter new situations, but what I've learned is that despite the fact that it can be scary, it gets easier with practice, and to just throw myself in it instead of constantly being hesitant.

[nlitened]

Glad to hear things are getting easier for you. And hey, a good clinical day is something to celebrate!

[anthroinscrubs]

That is amazing! I am so glad that you are finding your place! :)

From someone who has been there, it may be really hard to overcome your shyness because it isn't shyness at all, but actually an anxiety disorder. Getting help from what plagued me made a huge difference in my life!

Congratulations on sticking through it and not giving up! :)