Alone as a New Grad in the ICU

[colie5265]

I recently graduated with my BSN as a second career in October 2011 and luckily snagged what I always imagined to be my dream job in an ICU in November. I believe that working in the ICU will eventually come to meet my expectations, but not until I have proven myself and am out of orientation.

So far, orientation has been a long and bumpy road that I have been set to go down mostly on my own. I feel that there is not much support and that not many people are will to help me out. Its almost like they are waiting for me to crash and burn and give up. Why is it that they find pleasure in watching other people suffer, instead of assisting in my development.

Cant they remember what it was like being a new grad, or just being new to the ICU?

I almost feel like they are playing some evil game as if they are testing me to see how I will react to the added stress. For example, trying to plant a seed that I may not be good enough to work on the same unit, or that I have not earned my place there yet.

Maybe they think it is good to see how I reach if they tear me down and point out all of my faults and make me feel stupid. I think they are waiting for a reaction of either seeing me bounce back with more force or seeing if I will just give up all together.

Why cant they instead help. You know give some tips and tricks of the trade to help me fly instead of leaving me to drown.

I have really pushed through. Put my head down. Learned as much as I could. Try to develop different strategies to improve myself and hopefully improve the experiences and orientation of anyone to come to this facilities ICU in the future.

I always believe in helping others out, and improving on things that may have made my training and education better for others so that they will not have to struggle as much as I have. Why don't other people feel this way in the environment?

Have any of you experienced this kind of behavior when coming into the ICU? Why is it that people seem to think that it is okay for nurses to "eat their young?"

[RNinDM]

If you can't figure out which "meds should not be turned off", you shouldn't be turning any of them off. In the ICU, it's important to know your drugs and not just by a list, but by what the drug is doing. Before turning something off, figure out why the pump is alarming. In the ICU, you can't be just turning things off when they alarm. That, in and off itself, is alarming.

If the nurses seem frustrated with you, instead of trying to change them, look objectively at your own faults, lack of training, or critical thinking skills. The ICU pace is fast and furious in most units. It doesn't sound like your unit is set up for new grads or new ICU nurses. You have a couple of options.

First, even though there are successful RN's who started as new grads in the ICU, most ICU RN's have had at least one year's experience on another floor first. Try med/surg or stepdown. Develop some basic skills, knowledge and critical thinking and then start in an ICU new grad program - probably at a different hospital. You should have a consistent preceptor and a training program that protects you, your patients and your fellow nurses.

[colie5265]

Thank you all for your comments and support.

It has now been two years since I posted this comment, and I am still working in the same ICU. I am very happy that I decided to push through and work as hard as I could to be the best nurse that I can be. It did take almost the full two years to earn the respect from some of the other nurses that were there when I started two years ago. Many of the nurses who were very rough and tough on me are no longer working at the facility. The environment improved for about a year...and now it seems to be declining once again.

The negativity is not necessarily directed toward me any more, however I still feel its repercussions. I feel helpless to not be able to prevent or stop the horrid way that a few new employees are being treated. It pains me to know that there are still so many individuals that I work with on a regular basis that can be so horrible. Many of them have only been nurses for less than 5 years, and still have the audacity to treat their colleagues in such a poor manor.

I would also like to clear up that I don't have any issues with the amount of education that any nurse has behind them, because for many it is all about their experiences and the knowledge that they have gained throughout their years. I respect every level of healthcare.

I always feel that healthcare is all about the patient and if we cannot all get along, support and respect each other than the patient suffers. The patient is the priority. We should all take the time to reflect on this. Re-evaluate ourselves and find if we have forgotten this.

[MrsBelle]

SO real talk, ICU nurses are an interesting bunch. I can say that because I spent my first three years of nursing in a SICU with some of the most *charming* humans I have ever met. It was like interpersonal boot camp. I had one nurse who was supposed to precept me walk in and look me up and down then she walked out of the unit. She refused to work with me and I had never met her in my LIFE. I found her after that shift and told her she might not like me now but one day she was gonna love me! My other preceptor gave me pure hell. Its just the nature of the beast. I am happy to report both of those ladies are now some of my closest friends, but it took a good eight months to get there. In ICU you have very strong personalities and then with patients that are at risk of krumping out at any moment, you don't always have time to blow sunshine and rainbows up people's behinds. That was hard for me to get used to, however, I have found myself in critical situations with a baby nurse having to be very firm and direct or just flat out telling them to move because time is of the essence and I do not have time to educate at that moment. I always make a point of letting them know I do not intend to be mean, but sometimes you just have to get things done and dont have time to explain. It does get better. Usually the crustiest of old bats are quite kind once you prove to them you're not a blithering idiot.