Published
Here's something to make you all laugh--
Yesterday I was dragging. It was Monday, coming back from a week off, hadn't slept well, etc. An hour before the end of the shift. Called a doctor's office about a patient's insulin and possibly switching her over from prefilling Lantus syringes to the pen. Left a voicemail message on the triage nurse line that went something like this...
"Hi, this is ProBeeRN with ____, calling about ____. " Blah, blah blah, explain situation, wanting to switch to pen, promote patient independence, reviewed BS log, etc. Everything going fine. Until I ended it with this:
"So, my number is xxx-xxxx, if you have any questions you can call me back, and if it's ok with the doctor he can call in that script for the solostar to the pharmacy and if it's not ok...well then I guess he doesn't have to do anything then, does he? Everything else is fine with the patient. Ok, thanks, bye.
I then hung up and stared at the phone like it was going to grow tentacles and poke me in the eye. My patient laughed at me.
At least I'm laughing at myself today.
This isn't what I've said when I'm extremely tired, but more along the lines of what my family says to me. My family knows there's one sure way to wake me up from a sound sleep - the phrase stat C-section. The only catch is that they have to get my attention enough to convince me that there isn't a real stat C-section that I have to go scrub on. The kicker is that I haven't scrubbed C-sections in about 10 years. LOL It doesn't matter, though; that phrase can STILL wake me up from a sound sleep - adrenaline flowing full force.
This morning during our clinical preconference I was giving my group a quick report about my patient and stated that she was a 66-year old female, 84 cm tall, and weighed 165 kg... My group immediately went, "aaaaaaah!!!" and burst out laughing... It took me a second to realize I switched the values on ht and wt when I read it, lol-- my patient was now 2'9" tall and 364 lbs.... Clinicals at 6 am eventually catch me off guard :)
I told an entire group of nursing students how to deal with a prolapsed cord. Instead of telling them to place their hand between the cord and baby's head I told them "place your head between the cord so you can lift the baby's hand off the cord." one of the male students went pale.
I also get in the elevator and get scared that it won't move (forgetting to push a button).
All better than being a waitress in high school however: I offered a table of business men a slice of Reese's member butter pie, our new special.
Libitina
144 Posts
I once read someones notes from a previous admission that had been written during a nightshift. They stopped mid sentence and trailed off into a line going down the page. Looked like someone had fallen asleep.