Ah, the things we say when we're tired

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Here's something to make you all laugh--

Yesterday I was dragging. It was Monday, coming back from a week off, hadn't slept well, etc. An hour before the end of the shift. Called a doctor's office about a patient's insulin and possibly switching her over from prefilling Lantus syringes to the pen. Left a voicemail message on the triage nurse line that went something like this...

"Hi, this is ProBeeRN with ____, calling about ____. " Blah, blah blah, explain situation, wanting to switch to pen, promote patient independence, reviewed BS log, etc. Everything going fine. Until I ended it with this:

"So, my number is xxx-xxxx, if you have any questions you can call me back, and if it's ok with the doctor he can call in that script for the solostar to the pharmacy and if it's not ok...well then I guess he doesn't have to do anything then, does he? Everything else is fine with the patient. Ok, thanks, bye.

I then hung up and stared at the phone like it was going to grow tentacles and poke me in the eye. My patient laughed at me.

At least I'm laughing at myself today. :lol2:

Specializes in Obs & gynae theatres.
I was working night shift on a pediatric unit in Indianapolis, and this was my third night shift in a row and I don't sleep well in the day time. I was charting at the end of my shift and either i fell asleep while writing or i was having hallucinations. When I read what I had written I had written, "I am getting ready to put my triplets in the bath tub." I had to go around to every chart I had charted in to see if I screwed it up. PS: I do have triplets.

I once read someones notes from a previous admission that had been written during a nightshift. They stopped mid sentence and trailed off into a line going down the page. Looked like someone had fallen asleep. :lol2:

Specializes in ICU, MedSurg, Medical Telemetry.

I told the oncoming day nurse one time that the pt was put on 2L of nitro. Nasal cannula as well.

It took her a couple times of repeating that dryly for me to pick up on my mistake. lol

This isn't what I've said when I'm extremely tired, but more along the lines of what my family says to me. My family knows there's one sure way to wake me up from a sound sleep - the phrase stat C-section. The only catch is that they have to get my attention enough to convince me that there isn't a real stat C-section that I have to go scrub on. The kicker is that I haven't scrubbed C-sections in about 10 years. LOL It doesn't matter, though; that phrase can STILL wake me up from a sound sleep - adrenaline flowing full force.

This morning during our clinical preconference I was giving my group a quick report about my patient and stated that she was a 66-year old female, 84 cm tall, and weighed 165 kg... My group immediately went, "aaaaaaah!!!" and burst out laughing... It took me a second to realize I switched the values on ht and wt when I read it, lol-- my patient was now 2'9" tall and 364 lbs.... Clinicals at 6 am eventually catch me off guard :)

I once charted "pt no need to breathe" instead of "pt no shortness of breathe"...:yawn:

Specializes in ER, ICU, Education.

I told an entire group of nursing students how to deal with a prolapsed cord. Instead of telling them to place their hand between the cord and baby's head I told them "place your head between the cord so you can lift the baby's hand off the cord." one of the male students went pale.

I also get in the elevator and get scared that it won't move (forgetting to push a button).

All better than being a waitress in high school however: I offered a table of business men a slice of Reese's member butter pie, our new special.

A night shift Rn giving me report stated that the Pts. "NGT is draining green urine". :lol2:

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