Advice Please!!

[RB1215]

Hello. I know there are millions of posts like this but looking for some advice.

I am a new nurse who got her license in July. I began orienting on L&D and was just miserable. I cried about every day and would even throw up on some occasions. On my days off I would just sit and cry about how much I hated it and I believe started to go into depression. My manager ended up finding out and has since basically fired me. She is trying to have me find another job in the hospital. Going into nursing, maternal child was one of the few things I was interested in. I never enjoyed med surg, hate critical situations. I had a meeting with HR where they basically gave me an ultimatum. I either have to go back to L&D and stay there or they will have disciplinary actions, go to a med surg floor and stay there for 2 years or disciplinary actions, or leave, which will consequently probably burn a bridge. I have an offer for a doctor's office opening up, but seeing as the hospital is the major healthcare provider in my town, I don't want to burn bridges. Not sure if it's worth my mental and physical health to go back and be miserable though. I will soon be interviewing for a CCU job at the current hospital, but not sure if critical care is really for me. I am thankful for any advice! Thank you.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

I'm so sorry you have had such a bad experience launching your career. Have you taken some time to reflect on your situation in order to determine which aspects of work are making you so unhappy? If not, I strongly advise you to do so before committing yourself to another unfamiliar setting that may be even more difficult for you. Many aspects of care, such as workload pressures, dealing with a continuous barrage of new information, demanding families, intimidating physicians, feelings of inadequacy, etc. - are common to all settings.

In L&D, you have dealt with a homogeneous population that are dealing with a limited number of physiological issues. This will not be the case in a typical CCU where you'll find a variety of ages and genders, with most patients have multi-system problems - so the learning curve will be more challenging.

FWIW, even though I believe that your manager's actions (forcing you to resign) are a bit extreme, if you are as shattered by your daily work, s/he had to do something to ensure patient safety. According to your description, you are in a very emotionally fragile state in which it would be very difficult to deliver consistent levels of patient care. She can't risk the possibility of your decompensation in the workplace.

I wish you all the best. It may be wise to seek qualified professional assistance via your EAP. Your first priority should be caring for YOU.