Advice Needed Troubled Brother

PackMule · Jan 12, 2006

It sounds to me like your brother needs the help of a therapist and not necessarily a label at this point. I would start with a therapist who has had some experience in trauma and possibly one who is maybe open to the idea that maybe he is "dissociating" (as in the controversial diagnostic category of Dissociative Identity Disorder-previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder). Not everyone believes this is a real "disorder" where the personality fragments into part(s) usually related to a history of severe trauma, neglect, satanic ritual abuse, etc. Missing periods of time could certainly indicate something of this nature. Its been my experience that people with DID have been diagnosed with everything from ADD, PTSD, Borderline Personality, etc, until they found someone who would consider the diagnostic possibility.

Having a diagnosis really tells you nothing but what grouping of symptoms he has, and if it is so, so what then? He really needs to see someone who he can talk to and hopefully with his permission, they can invite family in to give some detail about history and pertinent observations. Best of Luck to You.

Thunderwolf, MSN, RN · Jan 12, 2006

It sounds to me like your brother needs the help of a therapist and not necessarily a label at this point. I would start with a therapist who has had some experience in trauma and possibly one who is maybe open to the idea that maybe he is "dissociating" (as in the controversial diagnostic category of Dissociative Identity Disorder-previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder). Not everyone believes this is a real "disorder" where the personality fragments into part(s) usually related to a history of severe trauma, neglect, satanic ritual abuse, etc. Missing periods of time could certainly indicate something of this nature. Its been my experience that people with DID have been diagnosed with everything from ADD, PTSD, Borderline Personality, etc, until they found someone who would consider the diagnostic possibility.
Having a diagnosis really tells you nothing but what grouping of symptoms he has, and if it is so, so what then? He really needs to see someone who he can talk to and hopefully with his permission, they can invite family in to give some detail about history and pertinent observations. Best of Luck to You.

I agree with above in that seeking a counselor/therapist would be a good thing...to get this off his chest and to work through his break up. Dissociating is but a symptom which several disorders share...some more intense or longer lasting than others. In fact, we all dissociate from time to time...a coping mechanism. I also would tend not to label or diagnose him, but support him through a bad time, which he is not coping well with at all. If he has a diagnosis per say, it will become apparent in therapy/counseling. Many folks have difficulty with bust ups in relationships and become highly emotional, irrational, and act out of sorts. Be a sis, talk to him, support him, share with him in a way that only a sis can, and direct him towards some additional help to get him through this.

I wish you the best.

MadRedneckRN · Jan 12, 2006

I appreciate all of the advice. I totally agree he needs therapy to find out what he can do to cope better. My biggest problem is, he doesn't think he needs help. Whenever anyone gets close to mentioning therapy, he gets defensive and angry. I'm afraid to push too hard because he will totally shut me out and blame me for his problems. (It has happened before, we didn't speak for over a year.) My entire family is frightened that he will attempt suicide. I've told them all we can do now is watch closely and support him in a nonthreatining manner so he doesn't push us away. If and when he becomes a danger to himself or others, we can get some help for him. Right now, I don't know what else to do. One of my biggest fears is he is an EMT. My son is also and they often run on the same crew. I'm afraid my Bro will freeze up and harm a patient. His captian is aware of some of his issues, but the crews so far are watching and covering for him when his decisions aren't up to standards. He is usually on top of his game and a great EMT, but my son and a few others have commented to me that he is a bit undecicive on calls lately. They are getting worried too. One of the crew captains has spoken with the socail worker in the ER. So far, we just have to wit and see if he pulls out of it, or if there will need to be a forced intervention.

I guess I'm tired of being percieved by my Brother as the bad guy. My family looks to me for help and I feel as if there is nothing to do here but wait until he crashes. It truly breaks my heart to watch him self destruct. Some days I hate being a nurse. I know just enough to make me paranoid and dangerous.

Please send your prayers my way.

Lori

Trauma Columnist · Jan 12, 2006

As a medical professional, his employer should be able to mandate an evaluation especially if it is affecting his work. I agree, an evaluation and counseling is indicated.

MadRedneckRN · Jan 12, 2006

As a medical professional, his employer should be able to mandate an evaluation especially if it is affecting his work. I agree, an evaluation and counseling is indicated.

I totally agree. The problem is, it is a volunteer ambulance service. The employer would be the city council or Mayor I would guess. It's a tough situation. I know the Ambulance Captain has been informed, but he is a volunteer too. :confused: