admissions essay

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hi everyone! im new here and im in the middle of my application for 2 schools - University of San Francisco and Dominican university.

im writing my essay and i have a LOT of anxiety about it!! i couldnt start so i just wrote something, and it turned out to be an alright rough draft but im not sure if im really doing it right...i'm writing about how being on team in training inspired me to go into oncology which lead me to nursing. the only prob is i have A LOT on team in training and not enough on nursing...it has to be under 2 pgs and its so hard to fit everything in! can anyone offer pointers on how to break it up and any other advice? or maybe someone can read it? thanks so much! this seems like an awesome website!!

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What's the essay question?

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dominican's is: why did u choose nursing? what contributions will you make to the profession?

USF's is: How will you help carry out usf's mission of creating a more humane and just world?

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Specializes in being a Credible Source.

A few general guidelines:

* Edit, edit, edit -- in my experience, it's generally possible to cut 25% of the volume just by judicious word choice and sentence structure.

* Pick a couple of main points and stick to them. Don't get too broad.

* Be sure that every sentence and every paragraph is answering the question that they've asked, not something else.

* Avoid the tendency to use superlatives or multiple adjectives

* Don't be redundant

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Specializes in med-surg, nicu.

Hi Ray,

Try to start your essay off with something interesting. Something that will grab the readers attention right away. That way your essay will be likely to stand out from all the other essay's they have to read. Good luck!

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For my entrance essay...I bought two books on the subject of college essay writing. I am glad I spent the money on the books and realized I that I shouldn't just write why I wanted to be a nurse but needed to be much more creative in my writing to catch their attention. I have to say it worked because at the interview they gushed about my beautiful writing. Funny....I agonize about my writing and don't feel I am a good writer at all, but the books sure pointed me in the right direction.

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would anyone be willing to give me some feedback on it?

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