ad couple of weeks
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sorry this is a bit of a moan
i've been on my last 14 week placement now for 6 weeks, due to loos;ley ward circumstnaces and too many students i haven't had a proper mentor that ive workd with at least 40% of my shift regualry. I'm ona spinal injuries surgurical ward very specialised and busy and seems no one has time to teach and even less time to support a student who is due to qualify in less than 8 weeks. I ended up crying today due to really working with one person no one knows what i'm up to what is safe to be delegated to me and what i still need closer superivison with. I feel that i've not progresed bar working on my handover skills and that i've acquired i persitely asking what i'm working with that can i have 2 bed and that i'll manage these and hand them over and i recongised this weakness. I was working with a SN today who previous iv.e been anxious around, and when i;m anxious i have a habit of making mistakes, and who i sense has limites condifence in my abilites due to making mistakes. for some reason this all affected me and i knew i was feeling low and might cry so i had nipped off the ward on my break to have a breathar. I was doing obs on transfer and she asked me if for time management sake that she would nip round with the 12am meds contray to a plan that i would do them superivised. and felt my lip trembling as i welled up by a bedside with a this sn who noticed. her following actions were nice she took me inot the staff room and talked to me and i was able to expressed some of my fears/concerns about not knowing how i was doing/(i can be overly self critiacl) lack of feedback lack of constiently and got the ward manager in. I finished on a medical ward previously, feeling confident with newly developing management skills and what my aims were and what i needed to do to be fit for practice, and that a very good mentor and excellent nurse trusted my abilites to increase my independence with some aspect of the role but always had been there for support and guidance. now i feel i've taken a step back. i said to the ward manager and sn that one of my aims is to develop my time management skills which i got tool comes this experiences and some sn don't have it, this is a fair enough comment from someone with much more experience than me however i didn't say as i was upset but i personally felt that this was one aspect i feel i need to work on and telling me others haven't got it is neither here nor there. my official mentor is the junior sister but i've worked 2 shifts with her and she get called away into ward management stuff.
i am scared i won't pass i have said i need feedback and perhaps now a plan will occur. i should have addressed this earlier but was trying to direct my own learning and see how i was doing. getting low over it all
but i've worked so hard to achieve skills in clinical practice and yet feel like jacking it in, but i so don't want to and i want to be a rn.