Acronyms, phrases and hypocrisy that need to go away forever, and that would never

Nurses Humor

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Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

occur in an all male company (or didn't you know that women can vote?)

SBAR do you think we're idiots?

Press Gainey Scores this isn't Starbucks

Braden Scale ABC isn't ass butt crack people

Mission Statement $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

GO LIVE! calling out for this fiasco

Human Resources nothing human about it

"good fit" not all of us can be Stepford wives and yell you're the king! and really mean it

Center of Excellence what's that all about?

Care partner huh?

Forces of magnetism and who gives a ****?

CIWA protocol it'll drive you to drink

Transformational leadership I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too. If you're not capable of doing your job this is where you'll end up

Lean Six Sigma those effin nurses don't run the show. Tell them the standard in the industry is 8 to one.

Zero CLABSI and how to fake it

Joint Commission survey watch managers run around- with texts!- afraid of getting busted for not managing a dam thing for two years. Calling out for this fiasco too.

Next week part two: You might be working for a bootleg outfit if.......

and part three : tidbits for new nurses embarking on this journey

and part four: a day in the life of a dysfunctional health care system

Bahahaha I love it!

Can we add:

Patient satisfaction ratings ... Do you really think they're all that competent to rate me when my narc naïve pt has Dilaudid 2mg q2 PRN?

Patient Caring Touch ... I'll caring touch you, JCAHO. There! I said it! JCAHO JCAHO JCAHO!! Send your flying monkeys!

Tricare's Performance Triad ... AKA, do as I say, not as I do.

Work-life balance ... If you're not working to the point where you have no life, my hospital does not consider this a good "balance".

Customer Service Representative ... Yes, send the whiners, malingerers and sick call rangers to me. I promise, you won't hear from them again. :sneaky:

Give me time... I know I can think of more!!

Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

HCAPS healthcare consumers assessment of providers and systems, oh really? can I rate these consumers on their quietness, cleanliness, and receptiveness to teaching? because we deserve more money for treating these selfish, self destructive people who make stupid lifestyle choices.

Specializes in ICU.
HCAPS healthcare consumers assessment of providers and systems, oh really? can I rate these consumers on their quietness, cleanliness, and receptiveness to teaching? because we deserve more money for treating these selfish, self destructive people who make stupid lifestyle choices.

There's an idea to reduce cost that I like. Make the patients' expected cost of contribution to the hospital bill based on the average score they received from their care providers. Very compliant, humble, and appears willing to make lifestyle changes? The bill is free. Horrible, condescending, violent, and flat out admits that he refuses to take his medicine? The bill is paid entirely by the patient.

Maybe these noncompliant idiots would care more about taking care of themselves if it hit them even harder in the wallet when they didn't...

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