A long vent, I apologize.

[Marleyna]

Hello nurses,

I graduated in Dec. 09 and thankfully got a job on a busy medical isolation unit in March 2010. I had a 5 week orientation on the unit with a mentor and was then thrown into the real world of nursing. At first I struggled but slowly learned to cope and now I love my job as I am beginning to feel at home with it (in terms of patient care etc). However, there are still a few nurses who criticize me behind my back and one reported on me to the manager for unintentionally writing on the wrong report sheet about the wrong patient (not even actual documentation just for nurse use). I know it does not make it any less wrong but I don't think I needed to be called to the managers office for not properly reporting to staff and potentially causing confusion.

If I am doing something wrong why is it so hard to just say "Hey I would not do it that way, I would do this...or that is not correct look up the right things." Or just simply let me know what I am doing wrong or incorrectly. I would take any constructive criticism and actually work on my learning needs if I am told what is missing! I am not asking for their friendship, just professionalism. I feel threatened by these two particular nurses at times and I am what I would call a "doormat" in a professional relationship. I try to overcome all the unhappy looks and rudeness by minding my business when I need to BUT when I actually need to ask questions or require assistance I feel very unsupported. Is this normal?

I approached the nurses and asked "is their anything I could do that would help us work better together?" I even asked if there was something I should be doing different in order to improve as a new grad and I am just simply ignored. It's like I do not matter.

Should I speak to someone about this, it is slowly starting to get to me. For example, today I had quite a few things going on with my patients and I was very busy running around ensuring things get done properly and in a timely fashion. Only one lovely nurse asked if I needed any help even though I was managing she seen how busy I looked (I really wish I worked with her more: someone that I can rely on in case I need help). I needed help transferring a fully dependent patient from wheelchair to bed (ceiling lift: 2-person assist). When I asked, the same nurse who reported on me (sitting at the nursing station), "can you please help me turn Mr. X?" She walked away without even saying "No I can't or i'm busy" but a minute later she was helping someone else. And there is NO way she did not hear me as I maintained eye contact and was in a very close distance.

It makes me wonder: could I trust this person during a code? Would I be ignored if I needed assistance with a patient who fell and was on the floor? I know it is courtesy to help another when you can but it makes me wonder what this nurse would do to me in an emergency situation. Maybe I am going over my head but it makes me very uncomfortable that I have to worry about who will help me for simple things such as turning patients.

As a last note, I actually do not know why I am being treated this way. I respect everyone at work and I help as much as I can on the floor and I would never leave a nurse hanging dry if my assignment allowed time to assist others. I don't want to be bitter but I can't help feeling incredibly hurt. I know everyone is busy and has their own caseload to deal with but when I am asked for help turning, transferring, even when things get busy with admissions etc I always make sure the nurse with the busy caseload gets help where it can be given (even the smallest things mean a lot). Am I just too team-oriented in an environment that claims "team work" but actually does not stand by it? Is something wrong with the way I approach things?

Thanks for listening,

Leyna

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

I agree, I think you articulated the issue very well. Now go to the manager and give her the heads up that you have a problem, and the plan you have for dealing with it. Thenyou have a leg up if the other nurse tries to undermine you or call you a bully for confronting her.

[shoegalRN, RN]

I know it's hard working with someone like you described, but start keeping a work journal. Document times and dates and patients that were affected when you asked your co-workers for help and was ignored. Go to the nurse manager with your documentation and ask to have a meeting with yourself, the manager and the nurses in question. Then proceed to tell the nurse manager how these nurses made you feel. If nothing gets resolved from this meeting, take it up the chain of command with the director of nursing.

And I doubt your coworkers would not help in a code, people like what you described love to be the center of attention. They would go into the code, attempt to run things, and then sit back and tell eveyone who will listen about all the mistakes you made that lead up to the code, during the code, and how they came to save the day.

[tralalaRN]

Is the nurse in question good friends though with the dept manager? This gets really tricky in a dept where the manager is a good buddy to the offending nurse/s. It's difficult to go to the manager for help if this is the case. I agree with the posters above who said to document. Also great idea if you do go to a manager and tell him/her that you know there is a problem and you intend to handle it on your own. . but be sure to document that also. .in case you need to involve HR or your DON at some point. What you are experiencing is workplace bullying and possibly mobbing depending how many nurses are involved here.

[GaGal777]

I had a problem when I worked in a Nursing Home many moons ago. There was absolutely NO TEAMWORK. If I asked someone to help sit a patient with no arms or legs in a wheelchair, co-workers would say "I'm busy" or "I'll be right back" and never see them. I would walk into a room and coworkers would be sitting on the patients bed watching their soaps. etc. There were 4 of them that hung together all the time. They somehow started some trouble with a LPN on our floor and it caused her to be moved to another floor. Pure Meaness! Finally, Mother's Day was my last day there. Everyone (except one) was scheduled to work due to it being Mother's Day and knowing we would be extremely busy. Everyone called out except one other co-worker and myself. At 2:00 p.m we were still giving baths. It was a big, big mess! I knew when I went home, I was not going back. I didn't mind the work. I loved my patients and took care of them. It was the lack of teamwork, gossip and childishness that went on there.

Still to this day, they have a very high turn over rate.

[belgarion]

There is a reason this sort of thing doesn't happen to men all that often. While some men will take the abuse for a while they usually get tired of it and start pushing back.

As others have said, get your documentation lined up. Take it to your manager and let her/him know you are not asking for intervention, just letting her/him know the situation. You will have told your story so management has an idea of whats going on and that you plan not to be a doormat any more.

Then, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF! You'll get more respect out of these people that way than if they get the idea you can't handle youself without running to mommy or daddy.

[Marleyna]

Thanks everyone who has applied back to my post. I really appreciate each and every single response. I definitely took everything that was said into consideration and have made a journal indicating all the incidences and when they occurred. I have a meeting with my manager on Monday to discuss what has been going on. I just want her to know that this is starting to affect my ability to function while at work because I am constantly receiving snarly comments from these nurses. I don't mind people not being nice to me but it is just becoming a corrosive environment. I love my job and I refuse to leave because of this bullying. I DO NEED to stand up for myself and I intend to just do that.

Once again, thank you all for listening and responding.

[goats'r'us, ASN, RN]

sorry you work with jerks Marleyna. it sounds like you're doing the right things and don't deserve the treatment you're getting. the advice you've been given here is sound, particularly about the documenting and the 'sigh, I'm getting tired of this ' body language.

be careful in your meeting to just lay out facts. although it's important to get across the way the behavior makes you feel, you need to come across as responsible and rational and not a sooky la la. I say that because one of the easiest defences that these people will come up with is that as a new staff member you just aren't up to the job and are just blaming them for your shortcomings.

also, be assertive but definitely not aggressive with them, and don't stop helping them if they need it - two wrongs don't make a right, and you don't want to start an 'i'll help you and you but not her' type of situation. The patient s more important than your inter-staff issues, even if your colleagues don't behave that way.

oh, and don't worry about the length of your post - sometimes you need a long spell on the vent before you get better :)

[mmm333, LVN]

I'm not sure about this thought, but people who direct hazing at newbies eventually stop once you have become "one of them". If you can find out what changes they are looking for and emulate them, you might satisfy them (although it seems like they aren't quite satisfied yet). I spoke about body language. Sometimes they want to see that you can take hardship and butt heads without getting aggressive or falling apart. A discrete smile and a sigh can go a long way. Then again there is a fine line between all of this and condoning their bullying. You'll have to decide where that line is for yourself. What you are going through has unfortunately been a rite of passage for many nurses before you- don't let it crush your ego. It's not really about you. Good luck.