Married and away from family while in school??

**LibraSunCNM, BSN, MSN, CNM** · Mar 26, 2008

I'm a student at NYU, and I met a woman in the graduate program becoming a palliative care NP. Since ours is the first program like it in the country, she moved from her hometown in Montana for 2 years, away from her husband and everything, to complete the program, so she could go back to MT and start her own practice. I was amazed at her decision, but she said she and her husband flew back and forth all the time, and she seemed to be handling it really well. That being said, she was a little older and her kids were already grown. But I've seen it work!

Sandman09 · Mar 27, 2008

Texas Wesleyan is in Fort Worth and they do have some clinical spots in Colorado. The site is txwes.edu and select the graduate program of nurse anesthesia. Check out the page or call them if you have any questions. Being away from family sucks but it's that or relocate your family which isn't fun either.

Curly Bill · Apr 4, 2008

i just finished crna school at mountain state university in west virginia. mountain state university is a distance frontend loaded program which requires for the first fifteen months, 4 days a month in the class room in west virginia, the rest is through lectures at home. the last fifteen months are clinical. i completed this course from texas. i spent the last fifteen months in west virginia away from my wife and three young children. i am going to be frank with you, the last 15 months of this program was the worse time of my life. i have a very strong marriage that survived my 15 month clinical period without any problems. however, being away from my family for that long sent me into a deep depression that nearly got me kick out of the program. i am telling you this because i had never experienced clinical depression in my life. i never saw it (depression) coming. if you choose to spend time away from your family to pursue a crna degree, keep my experience in mind and be prepared to deal with it quickly. good luck!

Trauma Columnist · Apr 4, 2008

Although not quite the same, my husband and I have been married for 28 years. We have lived apart for up to a year at a time (in different countries). You have to realize that this will require adjustments on both sides...give and take. It is not for the faint of heart. However, the end goal is what you look at and if you can focus on that, it helps. It is not easy and those that say it is aren't being truthful.

As the above poster indicates too, depression on either or both sides can be an issue too. Lots of things to consider and no one knows your personal situation.

vashtee, RN · Apr 4, 2008

That's a really long time to be away from growing children.

vashtee, RN · Apr 4, 2008

That seems like a long time to be away from your kids. How does your wife feel about being a single parent? How old are your kids?

tioul · Apr 9, 2008

Firstly, I just have to say this -- they have been buzzing for years now about having an anesthesia program in Colorado. There are so many politics involved with that decision. The nursing school, the med school, and the hospital all have to commit to this. As far as I know, CU will not have it. It does not seem right that there is such an interest by many nurses in Colorado. Also there is the hardship of leaving their homes to possibly not come home after almost 3 years of school. It also does not make sense that there is a slew of CRNA's between DH, UCH, and SAC, but no real talk of an anesthesia program here. The CO ASA is very strong in Colorado. I realize that they have to protect their practice, but there is a great need for CRNA's here. I am not a very political person, but I contribute to my professional organization and hope that those dollars make our voice stronger in CO.

Back on track...Being away for a year is a small sacrifice when you think of how your life's options can change dramatically after you graduate from an anesthesia program. A career in anesthesia can bring much autonomy and satisfaction in the workplace that carries over into your personal life. The money-making potential is huge. Money does not solve problems, but it can make you more comfortable while raising 3 kids. You will never be without. You will always be comfortable.

I went to TWU. I do not have kids and I am not married. But many people in my class were married with kids. Some people's marriages crumbled under the strain of school. Others endured and now are happily living again with a great quality of life (more job satisfaction and more money). It must be understood by all parties that this is going to be your job for the next year (plus a 1 1/2 year residency).

It is a huge undertaking to make a commitment to go to anesthesia school. You have to be married to that program at least for the 1st year of a front-loaded program like TWU. After the first year, the residency is busy, but the time spent in class is only 1 day/week. The other times of the week, you are working and learning how to provide anesthesia.

The catch at TWU's program is that you have to get in to those residency sites in Colorado. There are only 6 positions total: 3 at Denver Health and 3 at UCH. They usually interview in Colorado in January. Talk to the program coordinators at both places: Stephanie May at UCH and Steve Eberling at DH. They can let you shadow someone and you can show your interest in the program. Also, call TWU and start to get on the path so that you do not have to rush. Be the best candidate you can be that they cannot resist having you as part of the TWU program and Denver residency. But also remember to be flexible. If you do not get into those sites, then you may have to choose to take anything that comes your way or wait until next year when you may not get in.

Just an aside, I was accepted to the program at TWU, but was assigned to go to Tucson, AZ for my residency. By the summer (2 months before we had to report to our residencies), it was announced that a 3rd position was opening at Denver Health. I asked if I could interview since I owned my home there for the past 10 years. I was lucky enough to interview and after I had interviewed they did not accept anyone else since they offered the spot to me. Talk about making my day!!!!! DH was a great place to do my residency. I had fun while I was learning.

I admit that it is very hard to get away for long weekends during school, because there always seemed to be an exam following the holiday. It worked for me since it gave me time to catch up. For others with families, it caused them not to study the way they should have.

Again, anesthesia school is a huge commitment. People can do it with kids and a marriage. It is not easy for anyone involved. One of my friends did it and pulled straight A's (she and her hubby sold their home; she took the kids with her while her hubby stayed where his job was where he was 1 year away from retirement; he came to FW on weekends while she studied like the dickens; she graduated with me and they are still happily married!!). But it is worth it in the end.

For your wife with a great job/career -- perhaps she can transfer for a year or take sabbatical. I know that sounds unrealistic, but you have nothing to lose by asking and seeking the options. It will pay off in the end.

Good luck! I hope this helps to make your decision to go to anesthesia school a little easier.

epiphany409 · Jul 9, 2009

My hub and I have been together 22 years and married 16. He has 8 months left in the 28 month program and I swear to God I can't wait---it is HARDER on spouse supporting the household and 2 school age kids than the SRNA--who is out of state to boot!!! And to make things more awful, exposed and tempted by dumb RNs who are CRNA chasers because they are considered 'the elite'. It's sickening--the spouses should be the ones that make the money-it's been EXTREMELY HARD. It'll soon be good for me though--and hard for the dummy that thought she'd nab him--idiot.