Students cutting themselves

[Amethya]

How do you guys deal with this? My school admin know about this and the student is getting the help she needs, but this was the first time I saw her scars and I almost cried, because she's such a sweet girl and her doing this to herself?

How do you keep yourself from breaking apart seeing these sad moments?

[Amethya]

That's exactly what the girl told me why she does it, because she's stressed out and she doesn't talk it with her parents because they judge and do not understand her. And the only thing I can do is support her and lend a ear.

[rnknsn]

Unfortunately we have a lot of this in our school as well. I wanted to share my experience before I asked

my question regarding the cutters.

I grew up in a very loving home. My mother and father was very attentive to

me and to this day they are still my biggest supporters and I know without a doubt they would be there for me no matter the situation. I knew this as a child too. However, school sucks, kids suck, and sometimes teacher's suck. I became numb to all the harsh criticism and just rude people.

I began to self harm not for suicidal reasons but to feel something. The pain from the cut was nothing compared to the pain

I was experiencing on the inside and like previous poster had stated, it is a way of letting that pain out to those who do it. Now I

keep a journal. I write to let my pain out.

If you truly want to be a successful nurse who helps others not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually, then you need to really let go of your close-mindedness and open your eyes and heart to others. Most of these kids will have to learn how to find another way to cope on their own due to the vast majority of self-righteous adults full of judgmental thoughts. If you think these kids don't pick up on that you are wrong. I could always tell by the body language whether this would be a person I trust or just another person to tell what they want to hear so they can go about their small minded day and leave me alone. I am not proud of what I used to do, but I am thankful for the experience because now I can truly help others. It sickens me to hear all the excuses people make up for how others handle their pain or stress. Judging their parents, beliefs, and culture. You have no idea what goes on in the mind of another and you have no idea what their home life is truly like until you show true empathy and love for that person and let them know you care about their feelings and want to help them. If you know you can't whole-heartedly do this, then do that person a favor and back off. Find a person that can help them. The last thing people in this condition need is another rude authority figure telling them they're stupid and attention seeking, and don't forget you don't have to say this with your mouth to get that point across.

Now, here's my dilemma. My daughter has been raised to be empathetic and accepting of others. She has several students who come to her and talk to her about these things. Recently she disclosed one who is the child of my co-worker and friend. How can I go about this without the student finding out she is the one who told. Should I go to the parent first or the student?

[JenTheSchoolRN, BSN, RN]

Now, here's my dilemma. My daughter has been raised to be empathetic and accepting of others. She has several students who come to her and talk to her about these things. Recently she disclosed one who is the child of my co-worker and friend. How can I go about this without the student finding out she is the one who told. Should I go to the parent first or the student?

I'm not sure you actually can.

I've had students share that another student is cutting. I tell them that I have to share what they shared and while I will not share their name there is a chance their friend may guess who did share and may be upset with them. And that despite this and how upsetting it could be, they are very brave and mature for sharing this as their friend may need additional help (and acknowledge that the student may be aware of this or they would not have shared with me). This is part of my honesty-first policy in my office. (Next step is to check-in with the student cutting and get the school counselor involved and then the parents.)

Is your daughter a student at your school? Is this other child a student at your school? If so, I would likely proceed the way I presented above.

[rnknsn]

Thank you for your response! Yes both my daugther and this student attend the school I work at. Thank you for your advice. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I know the student needs help and I think your order of things will work out better than if I went to the parent first, so thank you!