Just take a deep breath and let it all out. I know exactly how you feel. I have been working off orientation now for about 5 days and still am struggling on every shift. I learn more each day even though I'm still getting used to all the residents and their intricacies. My facility is 99 bed and I'm in charge of over 25+ patients on any given shift. My second shift on my own was a disaster and I seriously thought about not going back because I didn't get home from work until around 1:30 am and I had to be back at 7 am. I decided to stick it out because I didn't go to nursing school
for nothing and I am determined to be the best nurse I can be by learning from my experiences.
The next shift was better as I felt like I got a little more of a handle of my shift from what I learned the night before. It really is a learning curve from school to actual practice but if you stick it out, you'll learn so much and be better for it.
My advice: take your time with your med pass because the worse thing you could do is harm the patient by giving the wrong medication rather than being late by an hour. I know you have a two hour window, but I think 3 hours is pretty standard for new grads just starting. Just focus on doing it right and know that speed will come in time after you've gotten used to everything. I still take about 3 hours but I notice myself getting a little faster each shift.
Don't be afraid to ask for help, even if the other nurses are busy. I also work with an amazing team of nurses and CNAs. They help me out so much when they can. I believe as long as you ask, they will always try to help when they are able to. Ask your DON for help too as he/she is one of your greatest resources as they know every single patient you have. My DON has helped me numerous times on my documentations because I needed help with all the paperwork. She has an open door policy because she wants her staff to be successful, and in turn her facility successful.
Lastly, remember to enjoy in the fact that you are now a working Nurse. It is definitely no small feat getting through nursing school and passing the NCLEX. Your hard work and perseverance has culminated in your first opportunity in the Nursing profession. If you can stick it out, it will eventually open numerous avenues to pursue. If you truly feel you can't or feel like the support is not there at work, then other opportunities will present itself as long as you search for them. I say stick it out. They hired you because they saw something in you. You should start seeing it too.