Traumatized, but still believe in Quality & Safety

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    Idealistic new grad in 1992.
    I worked Med-Surg, ED, you name it. Worked in clinics with a variety of patient/clients.
    I was inspired to become a nurse as I gave birth to my son. A Labor and Delivery nurse. That was what I passionately wanted to be.
    And during my BSN I started learning and working Labor and delivery (L/D). Firm believer in teamwork. Firm believer in supporting new nurses. I was one of the best and could get along with any grumpy Doc. Always ran to emergencies.
    Several years later I, who needed 8-5 hours, worked in 'Quality Improvement' and then 'Risk Management'. I was always 'swimming' upstream. MD peer review was all for show.
    I saw things that horrified me. 'Processes'. And patients deaths which could have been prevented. I was fired for reporting a death. I did get another job in L/D but I had changed.
    I cried throughout my orientation (Nurses smell that fear) and I was terrified to run to the emergency.
    Three years later, I was so traumatized by what I learned and witnessed, I had to leave the profession. Am on disability due to health issues and I am only 43. I miss Labor so much. I want the courage I used to have.
    I went online, to BRN: Only support is diversion???!!! I have nightmares about newborns dying in ED........
    Last edit by onthemend on Oct 25, '11 : Reason: thought i miss spelled
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    Wow, I'm so sorry you went through all of this!!! I'm sending you many (( HUGS ))


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