Minor rant. Leaving notes the parents ask to be written.

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    I had to do something tonight that drives me crazy. I despise hearing a parent ask me to "write a note to the other nurses". Usually because its a complaint. Then I look like the bad guy. I'm not the parents secretary, but I don't consider it outside of my job either. I feel like when the other nurses see a note in my handwriting that it doesn't come across well. I always start the notes with "Per mom" or whoever has asked me to write it. If something bothers the parent that bad, they need to write the note themselves! I don't mind doing things for parents. But I don't want to get in the middle of something that I'm not involved in to begin with.

    Any suggestions? Or just let it go and hope the nurses understand? I know of one on my case that would understand. But a few are very sensitive and can/would take it the wrong way. I also think it sounds better if it comes from the parent because its more alarming seeing the parent take the time to write a note.
  2. 17 Comments so far...

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    I think it depends on what it is. I know sometimes other nurses will leave a added note, for example " ordered supply's from HHC, but did not get to refill the prilosec, and per mom, please do not put any wet diapers in the bathroom trash, kitchen only"

    If I am the next nurse coming on, I will cross out refilling the med after I do that and intinal it, and than keep the note on the med book so all the other nurses can see the diaper comment.

    BUT...If mom is asking you to leave notes in your hand writing about a med error or something that you feel mom needs to address a certain nurse with, than yes you have every right to go to your supervisor and let her know the situation...at least that is what I would do
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    If I have something to say, I leave my own notes. I just flipped through the communications book and in this one, I only see one "per mom" note. I didn't ask the nurse to write it but I had mentioned to her that our neighbor was building a new garage and to not open the windows on that side of my son's room because of the sawdust. She put a little note in the book that said "Per mom, neighbor to the left is building a new garage. Please make sure they are not working before opening the windows that face that house."

    Next time the mom asks you to do this, can you just say that "parental requests are more effective when coming from the parent"
    Last edit by ventmommy on Nov 4, '11 : Reason: Inappropriate comma!
    SDALPN and systoly like this.
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    I think if you have to write "per mom" to make it politically correct, it isn't. In other words I might tell mom I believe it's best if it comes from you.
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    Its not to be PC. I'm anything but PC. No clue where that idea even came from!!
    I write it because its not me asking, its the mom. Its called clear communication.

    Ventmommy, that does sound like a great way to handle it. And your experience is exactly why I don't like to write the notes. I can see where your nurse would have thought that because it was instruction to you that it was for all the nurses though. There is a nurse that did something similar on a case I'm on now. She was told to use a certain bathroom (all of us use the same bathroom, but she had to use the other one). So she wrote a note to all of us about using the hall bathroom only. The mom never told her to write it. It was only instruction for her because the rest of us were doing what we were supposed to.
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    I hate these also. If I can't say it directly in report I will write something along the lines of "Per Mom. The family has asked US" so it doesn't seem like anyone is being singled out even if they are.
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    I ended up needing to try that approach tonight. Great idea...didn't work
    The mom was walking out the door as she asked me to write a note asking the nurses (even though we know who it was) not to rearrange furniture. When I tried the new approach, she replied that they would know she meant business if I write that its from her. Then she mentioned she may be removing that nurse anyway.
    She moved the patients bed in front of the supply closet, blocking the entry to the supply closet!! The other day she talked about how we need to always try to improve things by changing things. How in the #@%$ did she pass her boards?
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    Quote from SDALPN
    I ended up needing to try that approach tonight. Great idea...didn't work
    The mom was walking out the door as she asked me to write a note asking the nurses (even though we know who it was) not to rearrange furniture. When I tried the new approach, she replied that they would know she meant business if I write that its from her. Then she mentioned she may be removing that nurse anyway.
    She moved the patients bed in front of the supply closet, blocking the entry to the supply closet!! The other day she talked about how we need to always try to improve things by changing things. How in the #@%$ did she pass her boards?
    That's a no go. If the issue isn't important enough for mom to spend one or two minutes to write a note than there won't be a note. In the above situation, I might write a note saying, "please do not block the supply closet", but without knowing any details I'd be careful to jump to conclusions, especially in a situation where mom is manipulative as in this scenario.
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    This mom sounds a little passive-aggressive. I agree with Systoly, don't put anymore "per mom" notes. Since the nurse also impacted you, I think Systoly's suggestion of "don't block the supply closet" is perfect.

    Why is this nurse rearranging anything? We let the nurses move the rocking chair, the hospital table and the straightbacked chair so that they can sit where they wish. They also can obviously move the garbage can and hamper if they need to. But they don't move the bed or dressers or anything like that. Although, I am always open to a good suggestion to make care easier.
    systoly likes this.
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    I've been on so many cases where the nurses rearrange things. I've never understood why they think they have the right to go in someone elses home and do this!
    The mom will tell this nurse to her face. I don't really see her as being passive-aggressive. One night the mom directly came to me with a problem. Wasn't anything I did wrong in the end. But she directly came to me. I had checked the patients diaper and then went to get the mom for report. The mom let me out and came back to check the patient and she had a blowout. So the mom asked me about it. But I really had checked the patient and it was something that hadn't happened before. So I told the mom and its never been a problem since either. Maybe I have a different/better relationship with the mom that allows for better and more open communication.
    The mom had another nurse on the case type up a list of "house rules" because of some stuff that had been going on way before I was on the case. Mostly because of this same nurse. But the mom doesn't have a way to type up anything and can't spell great either. The house rules are common sense type stuff.
    The mom has a good reason for leaving stuff where it belongs. The mom doesn't give care often due to the high number of hours she receives and the long hours she works. So when a nurse is out or she doesn't have coverage, she likes to be able to know where everything is. Also if there was an emergency (I'm the same way) she wants to be able to grab what she needs quickly and not have to hunt for it.
    I'm just tired of writing notes for parents and looking like the bad guy because I wrote them. I'm hoping to get another chance to talk with the mom. I'm hoping that maybe I can encourage her to write a note.
    systoly likes this.


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