Youngest labor patient?

Rita Marie · May 8, 2004

Comic Sans MS

12 POUNDS!!! HOLY COW I hope they did a CSection! The youngest I ever had was 11, whe wanted to know what that yellow stuff was in the catheter tubing. Her mom was just delighted to have a grandbaby by her own boyfriend. Gee she got a new baby to play with and didn't have to go birthin it herself! :angryfire

One of the quotes to this is that the guy needed castration...he needed to have his butt in jail! He is a pedophile--that's all there is to it. :angryfire

The girl's mom should have been in there right along side with the boyfriend, for being stupid! :nono:

The two adults deserve each other, the young mother and the baby should have been removed from the home! :confused:

Too bad the county or state this child resides in didn't do it though.

Rita Marie · May 8, 2004

Although this isn't about the youngest to have given birth--it is something that I saw when I was in school back in 1974...a young couple (unmarried, 17-19 age group) were in labor while I was at clinical. They had gotten pregnant to "see what it would be like." I was pretty young too (age 19), but that had to be the lamest excuse to get pregnant that I had ever heard.

:rolleyes:

They did know where babies came from though.

LydiaNN · May 9, 2004

I visit a number of NICUs in my position, and one of them had 2 12 year old moms last year. A few years ago, they had an 11 year old. The father was 20, and in jail when the baby arrived. What was very sad was that when the social worker asked one of the 12 year olds what she would like for Christmas, the new mom's response was that she'd like a doll. She had just had a baby, and she wanted a doll!

niki1983 · May 9, 2004

I have been reading some more of these posts. A lot of what is being said is so generalized. I was a teen mom, three times (had a 4th at 20), so I can relate to what the other teen moms have said and are going thru. We do get a lot of looks and rude comments and gestures. The nurses at my first delivery ( I was 15) were in disbelief about everything I said. They didn't even beleive me that I had to push, mean while the baby was crowning. That could have turned into a dangerous situation had my mother not been there advocating for me, like that nurse should have been. I am not saying that all nurses are this way, but enough of them are that something needs to be done about it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but it should never be shown during patient care.

On the other hand I agree with the nurses who have posted comments about it being sad. Although not all cases are, those that invole abuse are. However, If the case doesn't involve abuse you as the nurse have no right to judge that individual at whatever age they are. You don't know if that girl is one that is going to struggle the rest of her life or one that is going to "rise to the occassion" and succeed in life. Teen moms are given these stereotypes all of the time and people who go around saying negative things about us just have no clue how bably it hurts. In my case, which I know may be the exception, I continued school ( only one year left untill my nursing degree), I am married, and all of my children have the same father (my husband) .

I guess what I am trying to get across is that noone, on either side, has a right to generalize or stereotype and individual situation. If you do not know first hand, you need to be open and not judge.

border rn · May 10, 2004

I have been reading some more of these posts. A lot of what is being said is so generalized. I was a teen mom, three times (had a 4th at 20), so I can relate to what the other teen moms have said and are going thru. We do get a lot of looks and rude comments and gestures. The nurses at my first delivery ( I was 15) were in disbelief about everything I said. They didn't even beleive me that I had to push, mean while the baby was crowning. That could have turned into a dangerous situation had my mother not been there advocating for me, like that nurse should have been. I am not saying that all nurses are this way, but enough of them are that something needs to be done about it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but it should never be shown during patient care.
On the other hand I agree with the nurses who have posted comments about it being sad. Although not all cases are, those that invole abuse are. However, If the case doesn't involve abuse you as the nurse have no right to judge that individual at whatever age they are. You don't know if that girl is one that is going to struggle the rest of her life or one that is going to "rise to the occassion" and succeed in life. Teen moms are given these stereotypes all of the time and people who go around saying negative things about us just have no clue how bably it hurts. In my case, which I know may be the exception, I continued school ( only one year left untill my nursing degree), I am married, and all of my children have the same father (my husband) .
I guess what I am trying to get across is that noone, on either side, has a right to generalize or stereotype and individual situation. If you do not know first hand, you need to be open and not judge.

Again I would like to say that I do not judge my pts. All of pts be they teen moms, prostitues, drug users or Drs wives get the same treatment from me. I try to teach and coach and hope for the best. I think the sad part is that all of you who were teen Mothers are so defensive about it. Alot of you have over come quite an obstacle since you all seem to be in Nursing school or about to graduate- I say Bravo!! What you need to realize is that you are the exception to the rule. Not everyone is able to over come such adversity as having a baby young. Look at the statisics. Greater % of being in low income family for life, greater chance of failure to thrive, greater incidents of more childhood ailments, greater learning disabilities. This is not because of the nurse you had, this is just because as a teenager you are not prepared to be the kind of parent you need to be to nurture your children.

I do believe you get looks and snide comments but not from as many nurses as you might think. I work with a wonderful and nurturing bunch of nurses and although there is the odd nurse who does not care to take care of teens or drug abusers ect, I as a charge nurse accomodate that for the sake of the pt and so the pt no matter who they are or why they are on our floor, will get the care they so much deserve during this special time in their lives.

Stop walking around with the defensive chip and look what you have achieved despite it.

border rn · May 10, 2004

In case you do return, let me say I am sorry you are upset, Maggie. But you contributed to making it a debate in the way you voiced your response to the thread. That is ok with me. We can debate without being angry with each other can't we?
Let me say, I CAN say with fair certainty you don't know what it's like us for unless you are in our positon as nurses. If I understand correctly, you are not yet. It's hard for nurses (and social workers, doctors and others), to see so many tough cases come and know we can DO NOTHING to help other than be there for our patients when they are in our care. It hurts knowing the hellish situations they and their babies go home to in so many cases. Knowing we can do NOTHING to help beyond this is so frustrating, you can't believe it.
And I am sorry to have to disagree with you but---- In some segments of society, teen pregnancy IS romanticized---I can say this with absolute veracity, because I hear what is said and see the friends visiting, half of them pregnant themselves. I can hear them making statements like "Oh isn't this gonna be so fuuuuuuuuuun, we are all gonna be moms together". At 14 and 15, this is hard for me to hear, yes I admit. FUN? They have NO idea what they are in for when the babies are here and the work they are in for. yet, I have seen this so many times I can't count. I don't think they see it as seriously as it is until they begin the lifelong struggle to raise these babies they are having. It's almost like a "club" for some of them, I swear. That is NO exaggeration.
Am I saying ALL teens are this cavalier and immature? Again, I say no. But to say teen pregnancy is NOT romanticized is simply untrue. It IS by many, and it is SAD. Heck even some parents act like it's one big joke or party. I become nauseated when some "mom" thinks it's oh- so- cute to see her 13 year old daughter giving her a grandbaby. If that makes me judgemental, ok then so indict me. I won't argue with you on that one.
Do I treat teen moms any differently than older ones? No,--- only if they are especially needy and then, I do ALL I can to be there for them. Trust me when I say, NO judgemental attitude comes from me when I care for them. I would NOT do that to people in as vulnerable position as they are under my care. I would daresay most nurses here would tell you the same thing.
One more point I have to address, Maggie: For you to say nurses treating teen moms badly is the "norm" is a rather generalized statement without justification, as least from where I sit, as an experienced RN. I have worked as an OB nurse for 7 years in 3 different clinical/hospital settings and this is FAR from true in any of the places I worked. I never witnessed a nurse (or doctor/midwife, for that matter), being rude, uncaring, cold or judgemental towards these younger moms. I honestly never have. If you are going to make a point, please, at least do not generalize this way. This automatically can put some on the defensive and contributes nothing to productive dialogue.
Take care now, and again, sorry if you are upset MaggieJo, but I stand by what I said here. Debate is NOT a bad thing, you know, as long as we can be respectful and not attack each other. I am in no way attacking you, I hope you realize. But, When you are a fulltime nurse, you may see it a bit differently. Time will tell but you are not there, yet.

Very well said

missyb · May 10, 2004

Oh my goodness!!
12 years old??!! You know what makes me sad? (and this may not be RIGHT for me to feel this way...but..) These 10, 11, 12, 13 year old girls are having these nice big healthy babies, and here my husband and i are, both of us 23 been married for 3 years and we were "blessed" with a daughter who has Cerbral palsy along with MANY other complications and diagnoses. I do know that we were given her by God for a reason, but it still gets me angry to think about!! :angryfire
Katie

Katie I totally understand how you are feeling. I was 20 when I had my daughter.she was term and was 4 pounds. She has CP, epilepsy, and failure to thrive alond with a few other problems thrown in to make things even more fun. I did everything my OB told me to do and was in denial when the docs told me what was wrong with Beth, 1st sz 12 hours after birth. While my cousin preg at the same time drank did drugs and smoked and had a "normal" baby, talk about not fair.

I can tell you now almost 12 years later that I would do everything over again. She and my son are my 2 greatest joys in life, I love everything about her from the look on her face when her favorite show comes on to the fun she has putting the groceries away after we go shopping.

I hope your daughter gives you as much happiness that mine gives me.

Try not to get too down about these girls you were "BLESSED" with your little girl, Love her well.

Melissa

PS I sent you a PM

Energizer Bunny · May 10, 2004

And some of them just want something to love who will love them back.

I have to agree with you on this point. Some of these girls feel so unloved by their own families and have no support so they think a baby will be their source of unconditional love. This can happen at any age, though, not just teens.

lgowan · May 11, 2004

12 year old for me too! It was sad, but I have to say she was one of my best patients. That was over a year ago, and I wonder about her a lot.

Deb123j · May 14, 2004

I too was a teenage mom. I had my son when I was 16 and I have to say that all of my nurses were terrific!!!!! In fact I'm planning on working at that hospital when I'm done with nursing school! They were all very kind and compassionate!

It is very sad when a teenager gets pregnant. Personally it worked out well for me, my son is the best (oh my gosh he's gonna be 13 - dreading those teenage years!!!). However I was always a very mature person. Helped raise my twin neices when I was 13, so I had no problem taking care of my son.

I think one thing that contributes a lot to teenage pregnancy is the instability of the family home. My mom was pretty good, supportive but unhappy (still is), but my dad left when I was 12 and made the statement to my mom, "Do I have to take the kids for visitation?" Needless to say I didn't see/talk to him much. So when I dated my ex-husband (he left after one year, he was 24 and I was 16) I was overwhelmed when he told me he loved me (duh! I actually believed him). That is pretty much the reason why I slept with him, that and he pushed me to do it a bunch! But not having a male loving role-model and then having a man say he loves you confused me a lot so I gave in to what he wanted.

Just thought I'd share some of my thoughts!

niki1983 · May 20, 2004

Again I would like to say that I do not judge my pts. All of pts be they teen moms, prostitues, drug users or Drs wives get the same treatment from me. I try to teach and coach and hope for the best. I think the sad part is that all of you who were teen Mothers are so defensive about it. Alot of you have over come quite an obstacle since you all seem to be in Nursing school or about to graduate- I say Bravo!! What you need to realize is that you are the exception to the rule. Not everyone is able to over come such adversity as having a baby young. Look at the statisics. Greater % of being in low income family for life, greater chance of failure to thrive, greater incidents of more childhood ailments, greater learning disabilities. This is not because of the nurse you had, this is just because as a teenager you are not prepared to be the kind of parent you need to be to nurture your children.
I do believe you get looks and snide comments but not from as many nurses as you might think. I work with a wonderful and nurturing bunch of nurses and although there is the odd nurse who does not care to take care of teens or drug abusers ect, I as a charge nurse accomodate that for the sake of the pt and so the pt no matter who they are or why they are on our floor, will get the care they so much deserve during this special time in their lives.
Stop walking around with the defensive chip and look what you have achieved despite it.

This is not because of the nurse you had, this is just because as a teenager you are not prepared to be the kind of parent you need to be to nurture your children.

In reply to this comment, all i have to say is who are to say that just because of your age you are not ready or able to nurture your children. I know adults who don't take care of their children as well as I do. Another thing is, the reason teen moms are usually defensive is because someone always has something negative to say about it. I understand that maybe I am the exception as far as teen moms are concerned. However, you don't know if someone you are caring for is going to be part of that exception unless you know them personally. You can't make that assumption. Also, just to add, I don't think that it is just the nurses these teen mom's come in contact with it is everyone. I had teachers tell me that I should drop there course, in high school, because maybe I just couldn't handle it. All that negativity is the reason we are so defensive.

I just think that people in general need to stop being so judgemental.

showmegirl · Jan 7, 2005

Youngest I have seen was a 10 yo that gave birth to twins gotten preg by her teacher she had the babies and her parents adopted them I saw her a few years later and she introduced them as her brothers Now what was differnt about this was i was a 13 yo that was in the same hospital having my first child mine wasnt rape or incest it was called having a boyfriend that was 18 and being told that all girls did it and having older sisters that did talk about it and i wanted to be cool like them ( never say you cant get preggie the first time) My parents let me have 3 options 1 i could place him under adoption 2 i could let them adopt him and he woudl be raised as my brother oe 3 i could keep him and raise him myself well i have a 27 yo son and i am 41 now we grew up togther he is now and always will be my best friend What we need is poeple to talk to the kids now days and show them a live birth including the baby coming out i bet you that we would have less teens getting preg ther into there bodies now days after seeing something like that and what it does they might think twice about letting that asprin fall from there knees sorry folks this is 2005 and there still isnt enough education for these teens remember this is the country that wont show a condom comercel on tv cause it promotes teen sex heck i buy my kids all that they want would rather spend money for something there going to do than to have themn preg or with something that will kill them down the road