PIH (Prisoner In House)

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

pih (prisoner in house)

aka pregnancy induced hypertension

restlessly written by patient

martha j. o'brien rn/patient/potential mommy

listen....

i'm not really complaining, about committment to couch arrest;

you'd think an overworked night nurse

would be happy to be ordered to rest.

but it's difficult spending forever

thinking of new things to do,

devoid of humanoid contact,

and most of your dignity too....

then, theres this thing with trajectory;

i have a definite "shift to the left",

which does not refer to serology,

but to direction guided by heft....

occasionally when i am sleeping,

and amidst the script of a dream,

i'll inadvertantly roll over

and maroon myself-what a scream,

and wait, for i surely must tell you,

there is remarkably, even some more,

sometimes i rudely awaken

to myself and a magnificent snore....

both feet are pedally edematous,

porcinelike, stubby dimensions,

no longer resembling a human;

tremendously mutant sensations.

breathing is a bit of a challenge,

and the loo the room of my day,

its a gymnastic feat to wipe now,

cause the "equipment" is so far away...

doctor visits are frequent;

betamethasone is horrible stuff,

which hurts like hell when injected;

i've really had more than enough...

and as to fetal position,

and my previa, which is of course, complete,

i had no idea of the issues,

when kicking and peeing, compete...

there's that fog of a headache, and floaters;

no see em spots you can't catch,

and epigastric discomfort, plus the occasional wretch...

labetalol cleared up the foggies,

and edema is truly the pits;

thank goodness for once i've a firm tummy,

and no longer a penchant for zits...

i'm bored and i don't mind confessing,

that i actually miss work and the crew,

and i have so much time on my hands now,

that i can't wait until bedrest is through...

the bathroom is upstairs and frequent,

so i'll admit one more secret, i guess;

i have a commode right beside me,

cause accidents cause such a mess...

the previa completely annoys me,

and i await the eventual bleed,

but mostly i welcome delivery,

and a healthy baby indeed...

so bored is this stir crazy night nurse,

with three plus edema, and more,

that i design drawings with thumb marks

on my feet which don't touch the floor...

positioning pillows around me,

and then getting cozy just so,

i have to empty my bladder,

so on up the stairs i do go...

those weekly trips to the doctor,

provide my only means of escape,

since i'm rarely released from confinement,

here on the illustrious cape...

but, i am being compliant,

and doing my best to adhere,

to whatever restrictions they give me,

from moderate to super severe,

and although my eyelids are squeezed now,

and my face ballooned to a ball,

i promise to follow restrictions;

i promise to follow them all....

surely it has been a tough lesson

to serve as the patient this time,

though i must admit that the preference

of nursing , to patient, is mine...

i'm taking my labetalol daily;

good thing since with it the fog clears,

and i no longer have headaches,

or pesky ringing of ears...

i'm ready to have this sweet baby,

but there is one final comment to say-

however this adventure resolves,

she isn't coming today!

unknown to me back then in 1997 when i was indeed on enforced bedrest due to previa, toxemia and pih, all these silly things i was sending my friends at work, were posted for everyone to read...i sent things like this, nutty cards, drawings etc..it was a real shock for me and a hoot for them...a friend of mine sent this ..i had forgotten all about it.....enjoy and all you bedrest or " couch arrest" as i called it, tell me if you can relate....about a week after this was written, our daughter was born via emergency csect for worsening pre ecclampsia bordering on seizure activity..don't recall a lot of that episode, but glad to report everything turned out ok! happy halloween! "this" baby, just turned 6....she was a month early.....

That is just so clever! I love it.:)

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

very kewl! great work.

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