L&D is one of my main areas of choice. The reason why is rather personal. When I had my daughter (my first child) I was in labor 33 hours. For whatever reason I was failing to dilate. (same thing happened to my mother and my two cousins, so maybe its a genetic issue???) I ended up needing a c-section. I was ok with the c-section, I wanted my baby to be healthy. once she was born, I tried breast feeding. I had milk. My breasts were HARD and TENDER. I couldn't pump anything out, I couldn't for the life of me breast feed my child. I felt like an utter failure of a mother. I was depressed for a good two months. As a woman, my body was MEANT to be able to birth and feed a baby, and I had failed at the most basic reason of being a woman. (I now know that's not the case, but that's how I felt at the time, like a total waste of a body, I was "broken" and wasn't "working" right). With my second child, I was DETERMINED to have him vaginally, "normally" as I thought, and again, I failed. This time around I was able to pump minimal amounts of collostrum, but since he was in NICU and needed to eat, the nurses told me that wasn't enough and he would have to be bottle fed. Again, I felt like a total FAILURE. How as I supposed to be a good mother if I my body wouldn't do what it was meant to do? I was a mess again for a few months. I failed. Sometimes I still feel like I failed, but then I slap myself and realize I am a great mother with healthy children. Without the miracle of medicine I would have died as would my child and my son would never have had a chance at life!
This is the reason I want to work L&D. To be able to help women feel good about themselves in the role of child birth. If they can have them vaginally, awesome! If they have to have a c-section for the same reasons I did, they are STILL A GREAT WOMAN AND A GREAT MOTHER! If they elect to have a c-section, AWESOME! It's their body! They can do what they want and the way their body works or doesn't work has ZERO impact on their caliber as a mother and a woman. I had supportive nurses with both children who tried their best to make me feel better. I want the chance to be that nurse, who can support a woman and help her see that her birthing method does NOT make or break her as a woman.
Is this too personal? Too dumb?
Last edit by itsnowornever on Oct 7, '12
: Reason: had to fix a sentence