i should know by now to judge the night by the amount of broken or missing equipment and lack of supplies. i arrive. full floor with 4 patients in delivery. forget help from those girls, they are up to their necks over there. so, we decide our assignment by tossing a napkin in the air and picking the side closest to us ( how is that for charge delegation). i get one side, but happen to answer a call light on the other so rush down there to find a fresh c/s vomiting all over the place. do we have any sheets? a couple. any pillowcases nope....i wrestle the paper bag out of her hands and replace it with a wash basin. just in time. now i have inherited that patient. her mother is staying with her. there is another bed in the room and i ask them not to use it. i come back to find the family camped in it just as delivery tells me they are sending a patient out to occupy that bed. i tactfully throw out the non english speaking elderly woman. she has no ride home. we search for a reclining chair. we all have back injuries. we drag it in anyway. i run over my foot. i take a laundry cart with me down my end to put papers on with my cheat sheet and the wheels fall off and it collapses in front of me...a patient asks for a peri bottle and a sitz bath. we are out of both. someone wants an ice pack pad. by mistake or simply to taunt us, someone has sent up actual sports ice packs. i nix that idea. bed 2 of the now doubled room is not happy that bed one is snoring. bed one tells me i need to call the doctor to go down to the storeroom (right) and get the supplies she requested...i try not to laugh. she is a wealthy patient. all the way down the other end an emergency buzzer sounds so i hightail it down there (hoping i don't die from either an mi or whatever sciatic thing has lately assailed me) to find that she cannot get her peirced earring through her newly pierced ear. can i please do it for her. this is a new one for me. delivery calls. they tell me they don't know what the presenting part is on one of their patients. neither one can reach the cervix. i find the cervix and determine its vertex. they call the md anyway. he, mercifully, agrees with me. i walk out of the room. (he is already gone of course) and i hear the ever so lovely grunting sound of pushing. i am not delivery this night, but they beg me to go in. they can't find the cervix, remember? they are new....9 cms! -2 to 0 in 10 minutes. i beg them to let me go back to pp. another patient comes through. she is way posterior. they can't find her freaking cervix...back i go....its there but 1 cm.... back to pp. wealthy foreign lady tells me her hand is itchy. iv is toast. restart it. giving report and someone comes to tell me my 15minute old iv is out and woman is bleeding all over the place. she is hysterical. i am thinking of going hysterical. delivery gets another patient. they call me to come over. i am in the middle of way too much peri care. full flow on a new c/s. i make no fans and at least one enemy with the fundal check. plum sized clot times 2. flow is now moderate. pt tells me to get the hell out. i am glad to go...on the way out, i run into the sister of someone i attended hs with. (damn that urge to stop and use the restroom). she talks to me about her new pregnancy. i politely listen but finally get out of there. car will not start. if car does not start, car phone will not work. back into the hospital to call my husband, who is convinced i have either been abducted, had a sciatic attack or been waylaid for mandatory overtime. supervisor sees that i am still there. begs me to go back up stairs to work. i say only for tonight off. she says i'm dreaming. i say right back at ya...finally get car started and get home. children screaming. dog barking at cat. both animals have seperately managed to poop on different rugs. husband quiet trying to keep peace. now i'm awake. time for bed. love to all....and this is the start of my weekend..,...i just love being a nurse!