Troubles as a new manager

Specialties Management

Published

Hi everyone I am a new nurse manager and I have found that I am constantly getting stabbed in the back and talked about by my subordinates. I have half that are happy and half it seems like are miserable and in my opinion should move on. I guess I was just wondering if other people in nurse management positions feel as lonely as I. I thought I had someone I could confide in and share frustrations with but she also ended up stabbing my in the back. My superiors think I am doing a great job but I still am losing sleep at night. Any suggestions?

Specializes in Oncology.

It is lonely at the top! I have to say though, although this seems like a weak answer, sometimes it is time to move on. My first career in management was very difficult - I managed a group of unusually dysfunctional nurses and other staff. My director was very difficult to work for, and the organizational structure was also a barrier every time I turned around. I stuck it out for four years because I believed that this was just "being a manager". I was very successful in developing the unit, the program, and implemented some very great things - however, the inter and intrapersonal nonsense was, like you said, keeping me up at night and making me very unhappy.

I recently (4 months ago) obtained a management position in another hospital, and I am SO happy. You don't have to put up with disrespectful and dysfunctional staff, weak directors, and unsupportive organizations - there's lots out there and sometimes the grass IS greener. I know it seems like a cop-out, but it's the BEST decision I ever made. Just be sure to really weigh all your options - I was offered 3 other positions prior to taking this one, and none seemed like the right fit. I am now where I am meant to be, with respectful and hard-working staff, a FABULOUS director, and a supportive organization. Trust me, it ain't all sunshine and rainbows, but it is SO different from what I was assuming management should be.

Specializes in critical care, er, snf, federal nursing..

Congrats on your new position. Have a great DON, HARD working cna' s and nurses who have run the unit for years who really don't like a real nurse manager on their turf. Have built up equity with several nurses but their remains one who is hell bent on making my day more challenging. The only time she shows respect towards me is when the DON is next to me. She is 100% ghetto style and just can't grab the concept of professional courtesy. My DON said she is burning her bridge at both ends. It's just a matter of time. She started to improve after I wrote her up but she is back to her usual decorum. Thanks for your I put. Will definitely keep in mind.

Specializes in Med-Surg,Critical Care, Radiology,GI.

I am a former nurse manager. NEVER,EVER,EVER CONFIDE in a subordinate. Many of the suggestions are right on in these posts.

1. Form relationships with other nurses outside of your facility.

2. Ask from feedback from your administrator. Don't ask too much, this may give the impression of indecisiveness.

3. 50% employee satisfaction is a pretty good average. The employees that will leave are going to leave regardless of any action on your part, good or bad. The complainers will stop when your present them with a plan of change for them to critique, and then implement THEIR suggestions. If they own it, they can't gripe.

Good luck with this. It is lonely at the top, but it is more rewarding to see the benefit of improvements made during your management stay.

By the way, I left upper management because I HATE desks, paperwork, and dressing for success. I took a position as night supervisor over a med-surg unit. Love it.

Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

once you are known to treat everyone fairly and consistently it will die down. They will never understand your job and so be it. They don't have to be your friends, just your co-workers

Specializes in GI.

I took my first management job in a small outpatient GI surgical center about 2 years ago. It is really tough. I have a staff of 10, not including PRN. I am so lonely at times that I cannot help but to vent to my staff even though I know that it is not the best idea. I get along well with them as well as everyone else in the facility. I do have to worry about the things that I vent about making it to the physician owner however. There is an office manager, but I learned my first few months to never confide things to the office manager. There seems to be a weird competition between the nursing manager and the office manager, so I got stabbed in the back several times. But I have out lasted 3 office managers so far. The issue is that I remain very lonely and have absolutely no support. The physicians know nothing about the actual managing of the facility. When I try to get help from the owner, he doesn't know anything and acts as if I am bothering him. I have no one to talk to about things other than my staff, which luckily I have a great staff. But I have had to terminate many over the last two years to get such a great staff. I think that the managing of the staff is the toughest part of my job. It would help to have another equal to share my frustrations with. I feel your frustrations.

Specializes in ER, ICU, Education.

I've been working as a NM now for 3 months and I hate it and have given notice. It is just not a good fit for me. I am an educator and mentor at heart and as a result I want to be on the floor with the staff all the time -- the staff love it but my bosses not so much. Not that they don't want me to bond with the staff but my other NM duties are neglected - the reports and such (which I hate doing anyway).

So I guess my question to you is this. Do you feel that management is a good fit for your skill set? I've realized very quickly that it is not for me and so I am making changes because I to was loosing sleep and working 60 hour weeks. I'm at a point in my life where I don't want or need this sort of stress.

Good luck.

Specializes in PICU, NICU, L&D, Public Health, Hospice.

why are people miserable at work generally? often because they feel like an anonymous cog in a business machine...or because they do not understand how their job and performance affects people from the patient to the corporate office (they may not understand how they are "relevant" apart from the care they are delivering to an individual patient)...or because they do not have a clear idea how "success" would be measured for them. In nursing we acquire and analyze a great deal of data...often, very little of it reflects or impacts the "success" of the individual staff member.

miserable workers are generally the fault of ineffective and often miserable managers...

miserable managers are generally the fault of disconnected and uninterested administrative or executive leaders...

ANY business...from software development to health care...will suffer if they persistently have discontented and disengaged employees. Even if that business pays their staff top of the line wages...staff who have no sense that they are valuable as individuals, who do not understand the importance of their role within a larger team, and those who have no idea they CAN have a positive and satisfying work life will cause that business to have financial challenges...always.

managers must determine that their job success is measured by how they impact the work lives of their reporting employees...and how they impact the work life of the administrator they report to. So...first line managers must do the reports and payroll, and performance reviews, and..., and..., and... BUT they must also connect with their team...the employees who report directly to them, to help them understand their relevance and importance to the manager and to the team and to the organization.

This sounds like foo foo pie in the sky stuff...but seriously...if managers are not engaged with their staff the staff will ultimately end up miserable. Even people in high paying jobs/careers can suffer from this phenomenon...no job and no level of employment is exempt.

so...just my honest opinion based upon years of observation, action, and education...

yes, you can be personal and personable with your staff...you just can't make them your BFF, and secrets are best shared with BFFs outside of the work arena...

You Cannot under any circumstances make everyone happy! Don't even attempt this....and don't socialize or confide in anyone at work. Doing this places you in a situation where you could become potentially unprofessional and you don't want to do that. You are there to set an example for professionalism. I truly believe that nursing management is the toughest job you can have in nursing. I was an CCU/CVICU nurse for many years before entering nursing managment and the two levels of stress cannot be compared. Management is much more difficult. If you like it stick it out and remind yourself everyday you are a good nurse and doing a good job. If you find it is not a good fit, let it go, the stress of it never really goes away. I think you either learn to not let it effect you or move out of the role. You have to take care of yourself, no job is worth losing sleep over, crying over or losing yourself in. When it is all said and done, I have never held the hand of dying person who said they should have spent more time at work.....a little something to think about :)

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