I just want to post this to vent. It's not really a question, but comments are welcome.
I am twenty nine years old. Between the ages of 17 to 23, I had several misdemeanors. When I was 17, I got a DWI. I blew right below 0.08, but I was not 21, so I was charged with a DWI. A few years later, when I was 22, I got a DWI on New Years Day morning at about 9am, I had slept the night before, but apparently not long enough. I was charged with possession of paraphanalia (a marijuana pipe) when coming home from a camping trip later that same year, possession of marijuana and stealing when I was at the mall with friends at 19 and we were caught, then our car searched and the marijuana was found, and third degree assult for a fight I got into with an ex-girlfriend of my boyfriend at the time, it was really immature and stupid.
So, clearly, I had a bad time in my life. At 18 I found out my mom was cheating on my dad. She had some sort of mid life crisis, left my dad, started partying all the time with the boyfriend that she had left my dad for. My dad was severely depressed, and threw himself into his work. They divorced, and I pretty much hated my mom and would have nothing to do with her. I didn't speak to her for three years. So, at this time in my life, I basically had no parental guidance. I met a guy, he was not good for me, but I thought he loved me and I have always been the type to see the good in people. I have always been the type to want to help people, and he needed help. So, I dated him for about 4 years, and I surrounded myself with bad people, who smoked pot and drank all the time. I got into trouble with them. I finally did come to my senses, got my life together, reconnected with my mom, met a new guy, fell in love, had a daughter, decided to go back to school to become an RN, and here I am. I had to go through a lot to be able to take NCLEX, with the BON, but I was granted eligilbility and passed on the first try.
I have always wanted to do something in the medical field. When I was younger, I always wanted to be a doctor. I loved taking care of sick family members, bringing them their medicine, putting cold cloths on their foreheads, reading to them. I didn't realize that what I was doing was being a nurse, not a doctor. I didn't know the difference then, but really what I always wanted to be was a nurse. I've always just naturally been a caring person. On top of that, I am extremely intelligent. I know that I am meant to be a nurse and would make an excellent nurse. I love taking care of people, I truely CARE. I made some mistakes in my past, I know. I learned from them, and have grown and matured SO much since that dark time in my life. It was never who I was, and even at the time I didn't like it. I was depressed, about my parents, about my family, and I dealt with it in unhealthy ways. I feel like I would make such a great contribution to nursing. I really want in. I just want the chance to prove myself. I've been applying to jobs everyday for five months. I never get a call back. I never get an interview. And I feel like it's because I have to check that "yes" box when asked if I've ever been convicted of a crime. That's all they see, that's what defines me. That short, horrible period in my life. In the seven years since then, all that I've accomplished, they don't see that. Its so frustrating and sad. All I want to do is help people. I want to be a nurse, and care for people in their time of need, and make a positive contribution to our society. I want to educate people on ways they can be healthier. I WANT to do this. I don't even care about the money, pay me $15 an hour and health insurance, I'd be FINE with that!! I just wish I could have a chance to prove myself. There's so many nurses I met while in clinical that didn't even like being a nurse. They didn't realize how lucky they are to just have the opportunity. I thought getting the BON to allow me to sit for boards was my biggest hurdle. But it wasn't. Now Im an RN, so eager to begin my career, and instead I'll probably end up going back to being an adminstrative assistant because that's all that I can get interviews for. Its a shame really. I would have made an amazing nurse, and I know it.
