Sandy Storm whom do I serve?

ccavrn · Oct 31, 2012

My first thought--you have been a nurse for more than 20 years according to your post--so your children are not small and can take care of themselves. Second thought, your husband is in the NYPD, you both have chosen jobs that protect and care for those who cannot care for themselves, and jobs that require you to be at work during emergency situations. Did your husband have the same dilemma? Did he ask you if he should stay with "the children" so you could go into work? Likely not--he went in because he knew he had to serve the people, those who need help. As a nurse, you have the same obligation. Many hospitals provide day care in emergency situations, and most nurses have contingency plans, family, friends or a day care center that can take small children who need supervision during times when both parents have to do their jobs.

If you don't want to have to be responsible to give care during an emergency, then I would suggest you look for work in another setting. You can work in an MD office, Case management for an insurance company, as an industry clinical support, or other position that does not require work in a hospital or long term care facility. I am a nurse, but have chosen to no longer work in a hospital for many reasons. There are plenty of options for nurses who do not want to be on "disaster duty" for whatever reason.

But if you do work in a hospital that has a policy to call people in when disaster strikes, then you have chosen to accept that duty and responsibility, just like your husband did when he signed on to the NYPD

Bigsisterp6 · Oct 31, 2012

Sandy storm is en-route I feel it's strength echo in the wind that cautions me vigilance. My husband ,who is a Srgt.in the NYPD , has already been called in and is expected to be on duty for a minimum 48 hrs. I am here with my children and received "that" call, the one where I am sitting here wrestling with whom do I serve?My area of work is an off site facility but as we are on disaster status I am expected to show up .The the hospital requires me to be in at 7am prepared to stay there through Tuesday am. The hospital has no concern for my children or situation that would mean in my case they would be left here alone. I ask myself questions like "Is it abandonment to not show up? Could I be fired ? Where do I stand legally if I choose my children's safety over patient's? As I sit here contemplating I am also thinking I know I can't be the only nurse making this decision tonight.I consider, Have I not shown up before for emergencies through my 20 years of service. I have walked through snow to my thighs to receive a 25 pt load because only myself and one other nurse felt it our duty to show up.I have arrived in a blackout, on my night off ,in 2 different colored flip flops because it was all I could find scrambling in the dark.There I was left manning the ED cardiac unit alone with 2 active chest painers and no doctor in sight. I stood in the ED on 9/11 waiting for patients while my own husband was down there and I didn't know if he was safe. I am aware as I'm writing this I am relieving my own conscience that the truth is I have already decided that this time I am not going to show up.er hurricane Katrina I thought of the nurse's those who both stayed and those that didn't and how they each felt as the water gradually rose up. I couldn't in my own heart arrive at a decision would I have stayed with vented patients or raced home to my family instead.So I am inviting a discussion that when faced with an emergency is the call to serve greater or to serve family first? Personally, I am not leaving my children,my mind is made up but the consequences of the decision I am yet to find out

I also have taken my life in my hands to drive to my job in ice. The ice was so bad one of our hospital based ambulances skidded and flipped over,thankfully our paramedics were not hurt.,the pt was brought in by a second ambulance. I along with 3 other nurses manned a 30 bed unit for 48 hours napping in 2 hour shifts.NO! I would NOT do that again!After 32 years I was fired because one female doctor was offended when I questioned her orders. Were was the hospitals loyalty to my service? Take care of your family first!The hospital will always do what it does best.put more load on the available staff!

LDrounette · Oct 31, 2012

I fully believe your children and their safety must come first. I don't know about there, but here abandonment only applies once you've taken report and taken the responsibility for patients and then leave your duty with no nurse to take over. As for the comment about making contingency plans for your kids in advance of the situation, I can only imagine that everyone else in the area is facing taking care of their own. If you don't have a safe place for your kids to go, I think you have to tend to them first. I wonder what kind of job you would do worrying about not only your husband but also your children in someone else's care.

God bless you in your decision, and I hope that you and yours were able to weather the initial onslaught of the storm.

LDrounette · Oct 31, 2012

Don't make such assumptions. I've got 15 years in and I have a 3 year old. People are delaying childbearing these days for many reasons.

Yeah, like starting their nursing careers

CountyRat · Oct 31, 2012

Before I married I sat down with my fiancé and explained that, because I was a nurse, in a disaster, I would not be able to stay home with her; I would have to either go to work, or, if that was not possible, go to a medical facility that I could reach, show my RN license, and offer my services. She accepted this (she is a very special woman, by the way). What I did next was prepare our home and vehicles for disasters, so that in an emergency my wife would have everything that she needed if she had to shelter in place, or evacuate, even for an extended period. This included food, water, and other supplies in our vehicles and home. Allot has changed in the 24 years since we had that conversation, but we continue to keep our homes, vehicles, and most importantly, our minds prepared for emergencies. Oh, and yes, if you are interested, I have four children (mostly grown now).

I know that does not directly address the OP's situation. If, when my children were younger, I had no one to care for them, I would have stayed home, because they are my first and highest duty. I also realize that many readers of this forum will have very different life situations, making different moral choices necessary. My major point is that, in my opinion, healthcare providers have a special duty to be ready for disasters at home or away from home. That does not mean that it will always be possible (or proper) for us to get to work in a crisis, but it does increase the chances that we will be able to, as well as improving our family's ability to cope with disasters at home.

dnnc52 · Oct 31, 2012

Who do you serve? Well if you to make it blunt and to the point. I you would drop dead today the unit would go on. However your family and children would be left with a unfilled void. Not trying to be dark, but cut to the core of your choice. As a retired nurse of 35yrs. I reflect so much of the sacrifice I made that impacted my family. I know nurses who got so much into the dedication of the profession that they neglected their family responsibilities, and actually ended up in divorce. When your old and without your family the hospital and profession you served all your life. Will not be there beside your rocking chair. NEVER put your job or profession above your family. That goes as far as working overtime when your to tired, working your days off, postponing family gathering because your short staffed. Working in conditions that endanger your future health. I played the super nurse role, and now I wish I played the super parent spouse role a lot more. Simple nobody on their deathbed will say they wished that they would have spent more time at the office....

rn2be73 · Oct 31, 2012

no one may say anything about it but you can bet your behind the people you are helping see it and will in turn walk through fire to help YOU when and if they can!!

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Oct 31, 2012

I liked seeing the nurse at the holding the infant from the NICU at the NYU Hospital when the patients were being transferred to other hospitals during the storm. They did a super job.

dapc · Oct 31, 2012

That is not even a question to ask. God 1st, Family 2nd, then job....... Just get Priorities right.

I live on the coast and when my kids were little, they came 1st. Now they are grown and i do not mind going in and staying for days. I was not fired, because i had kids BUT people who had no children and no reason to leave were fired!

Lemon00 · Oct 31, 2012

I've faced this situation myself fortunately for me the community I lived in was very unique; in that we are accustomed to "the work comes first" because we all lived/worked on a penitentiary. There was no question when they call... you go. So, there were a few people (the usual babysitters) that did an AMAZING job keeping the children, but you still feel like you're abandoning them. When duty called we all had a role and no one questioned, we just did it. We have been through hurricanes (like Katrina, Rita, Gustav) also inmate escapes and last year faced a major flood, all were we worked almost 'round the clock and 7 days a week until everything was "restored" or at least functional. It's hard when both parents work in public service because when there is a public emergency you both are called for duty. No one (employers/coworkers) wants to hear " but I have kids". I know exactly how you felt waiting for the call. Now that I am "on the outside" I have often wondered what it will be like (because now I lack the support system but still have the duty to respond) It is inevitable that we will be hit by another hurricane so I am trying to prepare now and formulate a plan, but options are limited. I don't think it ever gets easier to put your family second to someone elses but that is what we do as public servants. Whether it's the demanding schedule or like this case the literal choice between one's own family or helping others; we sacrifice so much "for the greater good" I just wish people recognized that sacrifice a little more.

Evan Gross, BSN, EMT-B · Oct 31, 2012

Sandy storm is en-route I feel it's strength echo in the wind that cautions me vigilance. My husband ,who is a Srgt.in the NYPD , has already been called in and is expected to be on duty for a minimum 48 hrs. I am here with my children and received "that" call, the one where I am sitting here wrestling with whom do I serve?
My area of work is an off site facility but as we are on disaster status I am expected to show up .The the hospital requires me to be in at 7am prepared to stay there through Tuesday am. The hospital has no concern for my children or situation that would mean in my case they would be left here alone. I ask myself questions like "Is it abandonment to not show up? Could I be fired ? Where do I stand legally if I choose my children's safety over patient's? As I sit here contemplating I am also thinking I know I can't be the only nurse making this decision tonight.
I consider, Have I not shown up before for emergencies through my 20 years of service. I have walked through snow to my thighs to receive a 25 pt load because only myself and one other nurse felt it our duty to show up.I have arrived in a blackout, on my night off ,in 2 different colored flip flops because it was all I could find scrambling in the dark.There I was left manning the ED cardiac unit alone with 2 active chest painers and no doctor in sight. I stood in the ED on 9/11 waiting for patients while my own husband was down there and I didn't know if he was safe.
I am aware as I'm writing this I am relieving my own conscience that the truth is I have already decided that this time I am not going to show up.
For weeks after hurricane Katrina I thought of the nurse's those who both stayed and those that didn't and how they each felt as the water gradually rose up. I couldn't in my own heart arrive at a decision would I have stayed with vented patients or raced home to my family instead.
So I am inviting a discussion that when faced with an emergency is the call to serve greater or to serve family first? Personally, I am not leaving my children,my mind is made up but the consequences of the decision I am yet to find out

My suggestion is to bring your kids with you to work because if you don't, you may be fired and not have a job to support your kids with.

anotherone, BSN, RN · Oct 31, 2012

My first thought--you have been a nurse for more than 20 years according to your post--so your children are not small and can take care of themselves. Second thought, your husband is in the NYPD, you both have chosen jobs that protect and care for those who cannot care for themselves, and jobs that require you to be at work during emergency situations. Did your husband have the same dilemma? Did he ask you if he should stay with "the children" so you could go into work? Likely not--he went in because he knew he had to serve the people, those who need help. As a nurse, you have the same obligation. Many hospitals provide day care in emergency situations, and most nurses have contingency plans, family, friends or a day care center that can take small children who need supervision during times when both parents have to do their jobs.
If you don't want to have to be responsible to give care during an emergency, then I would suggest you look for work in another setting. You can work in an MD office, Case management for an insurance company, as an industry clinical support, or other position that does not require work in a hospital or long term care facility. I am a nurse, but have chosen to no longer work in a hospital for many reasons. There are plenty of options for nurses who do not want to be on "disaster duty" for whatever reason.
But if you do work in a hospital that has a policy to call people in when disaster strikes, then you have chosen to accept that duty and responsibility, just like your husband did when he signed on to the NYPD

Did you read the post? THe OP DOES NOT work at the hospital. She works for part of the hospital, I ASSUME but not inpatient. In a disaster it is about survival, your own survival first. the end.