You Know You're A Nurse If...

Nurses Humor

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You know you're a nurse if...

You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.

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Specializes in med-tele/ER.

you ask your father-in-law what color his stool is and when is the last time he moved his bowels (true story, got the strangest look).

Specializes in Surgical/MedSurg/Oncology/Hospice.

when you finish assisting your co-worker do a complete bed change due to a C-Diff/Golytely explosion from a total care patient, and announce "I'm gonna go eat my lunch, I'm starving".

Specializes in LTC, Hospice, Case Management.
Your own kids go to daddy when they hurt themselves because they know you won't get worked up over anything short of missing digits or copious bleeding. (Even though you still kiss their boo-boos to make them all better.)

Amen! My kids swore I'd let them go until they needed CPR before I'd get the least bit worked up.

Specializes in Oncology.

When your child is coughing after swallowing wrong and the say "mom I'm choking here, your supposed to help me" and you calmly look at them and say "you're still passing air, you're fine. keep coughing"

Also, when your sleeping and the microwave beeps you wake out of a sound sleep to check for a bed alarm.

Specializes in PCU.

Your husband attempts to wake you up on your day off and you tell him to leave you alone, you are busy giving meds...:uhoh3:

Specializes in OB, Med/Surg, Ortho, ICU.

You know you're a nurse when you unconsciously palate your husband's or wife's veins when you hold his/her hand (I do this constantly and it drives him nuts!)

Specializes in Telemetry, OB, NICU.

When you feel the urge to chart your own BM's or urine somewhere.

Specializes in Oncology.
Your husband attempts to wake you up on your day off and you tell him to leave you alone, you are busy giving meds...:uhoh3:

I've actually woke disoriented and yelled at my daughter to go to the clean utility room to get me a pair of draw string pants off of the cart because I was in my nightgown.

Specializes in Trauma, Emergency.
You wash your hands before ​going to the bathroom, as well as after.
Oh my gosh I feel so legit now- I totally do that! Who needs NCLEX, by this board I am already a nurse. Hahaha!
Specializes in Certified Wound Care Nurse.

I swore - when I became a nurse I would never EVER wear scrubs outside of work. I was planning an out of town trip and almost all that I packed were scrubs!

Specializes in Cardiac.

When you look like Columbo--patting every pocket looking for the vitals list--while muttering "I know I have it here somewhere". (you have to be older to get this one :)

Specializes in Med/Surg,Cardiac.

When you do foot assessments on fellow customers at the grocery store... Foot care people!

You purchase hand soap compulsively (I think my boyfriend is going to buy me a bulk amount for my birthday...)

You hide the salt shakers... from your family... and then teach them about negative effects of salt on BP.

EVERYONE asks you for medical advice. And many address you as "doctor"....

You assess your veins to determine the level of dehydration you have reached.

And finally...

No paycheck amount could ever compare to the amazing sense of pride you can only achieve by being a NURSE :nurse:

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