Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

Nurses Humor

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Never....NEVER...cut a potato in half and use it as a pessary! :eek:

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Specializes in L&D, Cardiac/Renal, Palliative Care.

If you are going to procure someone else's urine for a UDS

1.) Ensure it is not so cold it will not register on the themometer

2.) Ensure it is not positive for meth

3.) If you fail to do both of the above, do not stand and stare dumbfounded and say, "but I don't do meth!"

Also, if you tell your nurse you can't breathe, do not yell at her when she comes to put your bipap on, it does NOT make her feel helpful, at all.

Specializes in Hospice, corrections, psychiatry, rehab, LTC.

Antifreeze does not contain the right type of alcohol to get intoxicated on.

Keeping a baby sidewinder in a box as a pet doesn't end well.

Hand rolled toilet paper is not a good substitute for tampons.

Specializes in Critical Care.

they taught me never to underestimate the power of an elderly person. man when they are mad, they can get crazy strong

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