The Backwoods Medical Terminalogy

Nurses Humor

Published

Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

Rednecks have the lowest stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously. You are going to die anyway, so live life to the fullest.

[TABLE=align: center]

[TR]

[TD]Medical Term

[/TD]

[TD][/TD]

[TD]Redneck Definition

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Artery

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]The study of paintings

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Bacteria

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Back door to cafeteria

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Barium

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]What doctors do when patients die

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Benign

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]What you be, after you be eight

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Caesarean Section

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]A neighborhood in Rome

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Cat scan

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Searching for Kitty

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Cauterize

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Made eye contact with her

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Colic

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]A sheep dog

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Coma

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]A punctuation mark

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Dilate

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]To live long

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Enema

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Not a friend

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Fester

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Quicker than someone else

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Fibula

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]A small lie

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Impotent

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Distinguished, well known

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Labor Pain

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Getting hurt at work

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Medical Staff

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]A Doctor's cane

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Morbid

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]A higher offer

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Nitrates

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Rates of Pay for Working at Night,

Normally more money than Days

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Node

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]I knew it

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Outpatient

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]A person who has fainted

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Pelvis

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Second cousin to Elvis

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Post Operative

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]A letter carrier

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Recovery Room

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Place to do upholstery

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Rectum

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Nearly killed him

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Secretion

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Hiding something

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Seizure

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Roman Emperor

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Tablet

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]A small table

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Terminal Illness

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Getting sick at the airport

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Tumor

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]One plus one more

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Urine

[/TD]

[TD]-

[/TD]

[TD]Opposite of you're out

[/TD]

[/TR]

[/TABLE]

Specializes in Ambulatory Surgery, Ophthalmology, Tele.

These are funny :up: Thanks, GitanoRN :)

Having worked in Appalachia - fairly accurate on some of the terms :)

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