Some Suggestions Should You Be Asked To Write References

* He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
* I would not allow this employee to breed.
* She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
* This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.
* This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
* This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.
* Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
* When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
* This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
* Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
* His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
* Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
* Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
* A room temperature IQ.
* Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
* A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
* A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
* A prime candidate for natural deselection.
* Bright as Alaska in December.
* One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
* Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
* Fell out of the family tree.
* Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
* Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
* He's so dense, light bends around him.
* If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
* If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
* If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
* If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
* It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
* One neuron short of a synapse.
* Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
* Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
* Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.