Rules Of The Pit!!!

[altomga, ADN, BSN, MSN, DNP, RN, APRN]

Yes, I know we heard these before...but they still make me laugh..I love #6!!:)

Don't hurt yourself.

All bleeding stops.

Don't lose your cool.

Everybody has to die sometime.

You can't hurt a dead man.

Never yell at the nurses (refer to Rule #1.)

Don't get excited about blood loss-unless it's your own.

Don't hit patients or doctors-unless necessary.

SEX isn't everything, but it's a hell-of-a-long-way ahead of anything that's second.

The patient will be all right if he is okay.

The pain will go away when it stops hurting.

Do what's right.

All fevers will eventually come back to normal on the way to room temperature.

There's always time sometime.

Common things are common.

A strawberry by any other name would be a heart with acne.

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

If nothing has gone wrong, you've obviously don't understand the situation.

He who turns to run away must first sign out AMA.

If you can keep your head among all this confusion, you obviously don't understand the situation.

Uncommon manifestations of common diseases are more common than are uncommon diseases.

Death is a severe stage of shock, or shock is a pause in the act of dying.

It doesn't matter what you do as long as it's right.

WHY am I here?

It sure feels good when it quits a "hurtin."

It looks more like it does now than it did.

In medicine, always remember never to say always and never.

In case of emergency call Dr. Wonderful or Earl.

All bleeding is gross.

If you can't see it, it's probably not there.

Don't vomit on the doctor!

Remember, "Toast always falls jelly-side down."

P.I.D. doesn't stand for "pink in dere."

If a patient has a catheter ---he needs it.

We've got to find those "two dudes" and stop them.

Everyone gets treated exactly the same in here ---until he pisses you off.

The pit is a mixture of can do, can't do, and why the hell not!

To be right is only half the battle; to convince the patient is more difficult.

Always do whatever you do best.

Remember, the problem is always better than the X-ray looks.

I was better, but I got over it."

[Danamegg]

"The patient will be all right if he is okay. " (Yeah right!!)

This one is my favourite. :chuckle

[TeenyBabyRN]

He who turns to run away must first sign out AMA.

:roll

[Rapheal]

Very funny. Let's add to them.

It is considered a breach of etiquette to administer PRN stool promoting products to incontinent patients 15 minutes before your shift ends.

It is considered acceptable to administer PRN stool promoting products to incontinent patients 15 minutes before your shift ends if the nurse following you stuck you with a load of poop right before your previous shift.

You may not call the doctor who hung up on you an incompetent, moron.

You may call the doctore who hung up on you many times to voice concerns about your patients and to promote communication- the more the better.

Anyone else?