REAL 911 CALLS
Caller: "I'd like to make a unanimous complaint so don't use my name."
Caller: "I'm reporting a deer on the road. I almost hit it." Operator: "Is the deer alive?" Caller: "Oh, no, it's run over. Many, many cars. Again and again and - OH NO! NOT AGAIN!"
Caller: "Am I talking to a real person, or is this a recording?"
Caller: "We might (cough) need the fire department here (cough)."
Caller: "Is it okay for a civilian to take a person of the hospital, or does the ambulance have to do it?"
Caller: (irate) "That's 'W' as in Williams and 'Y' as in why."
Caller: "He's not breathing!" Operator: "Can you get the phone close to him?" Caller: "WHY! You want to hear he's not breathing too?"
Operator: "Does she have any weapons?" Caller: "Well, she has real long finger nails."
Operator: "We'll need a description of him." Caller: "He's a lawyer."
Caller: "No, she just didn't fall . . . I helped her!"
Complaint about a stolen mailbox: Operator: "What is your address?" Caller: "It's gone."