No Bed Flatulence

Nurses Humor

Published

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop

ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told

her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that

one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing

the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep,

she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the

bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his

usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.

But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these

two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

:D

So......would "YOU" have told him the truth??? LOL

Specializes in correctional, psych, ICU, CCU, ER.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :roll :rotfl: :rotfl:

"sounds" like somebody I know

Robin ,,,,, good question,,,, would you have told him the truth,,,, mmmmm think not,,,,

Vegas,,,,,, as always,,,, LMAO,,,, ROTFFLMAO,,,,,,

THANK YOU!!!! ~kita

Specializes in ER.

Think about the ER nurse that would have to fish all that crud out ... and what about triage- "well, ma'am, I farted, and my guts jest kinda spilled out..."

Specializes in Med-Surg, Long Term Care.

Thanks for the great story, LasVeagasRN. The man in this story *IS* my Father, and he and my Mom howled over it when I emailed it to them. He's now showing it to all his friends and our relatives who know him and his "gas problems" only too well.:D

This is the perfect revenge. I love it!!!:roll :chuckle

I just don't want to think about how it must have smelled the following morning!!!!!! :imbar :imbar :imbar

Sounds--literally--like my father-in-law!!!

LOL

:chuckle :roll :chuckle

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