You always forget what it was you wanted after you get to the supply room.
You always remember when you get back to the other end ...
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Your buddies who were reading the paper at the nurses' desk a minute ago always disappear when you need help ...
Expect to get your pay raise the same day the hospital raises the parking rates (and other charges)
The better job you do, the more work you can expect to be handed ...
The amount of clean linen available is inversely proportional to your immediate needs.
The absurdity of the suggestion is directly proportional to the distance from the bedside.
The patient who has been dying all night finally meets his maker 12.5 minutes before shift change.
You walk out of a patient's room after you've asked them if they need anything: they will put the call bell on as you are about three quarters the way down the hall.
The patient furthest away from the nurses' station rings the call bell more often than the patient nearest to the nurses' station.
You tell your patient, "If you need anything at all, just push the button and I'll be there". She smiles and says she's "Fine, thank you nurse."
The next morning she complains to the physician, "No one came near me all night and I couldn't sleep, because I was in agony."
When management smiles at you, be very, very afraid ...
