Murphy's Laws for Nurses - page 2

Murphy's Laws for Nurses: You always forget what it was you wanted after you get to the supply room. You always remember when you get back to the other end ... --------------------- ... Read More

  1. by   Furball
    Why is it that you're most helpless, most demanding pt always weighs 300 lbs?
  2. by   Furball
    Why is it that the most independent, never hear a word from all 12 hr shift, weighs a whole 90 lbs??
  3. by   Sleepyeyes
    This is HILARIOUS!!!


    Why izzit that the demented LOL's who want to go home NOW always have the strength of 10 men, and the guy with the Worst Veins in the World can't seem to keep the IV from ripping out every time he gets up to pee??
  4. by   emily_mom
    Why is it the ones who live alone can't seem to be able to wipe their azz once they get in the hospital?

    The one you spend the most time bathing will have a BM/pull out tube feeding/pee within 30 minutes of walking out of the room.

    Or, the patient that has been on the commode for half an hour will mess the bed the second they lay down.

    The patient who has no pain will undoubtedly deteriorate immediately within 3 seconds of walking out of the room. (gotta love that....other nurse-did you give so and so a pain pill? Uh, no, she said she didn't want one. Nurse-well she's in there doubled over. Whatever )
  5. by   K O'Malley
    The three surgery pts you have been waiting for all day will be brought from the PACU all at once.

    The pt. on the gurney on the way to the cath lab says, "oh yeah, I just remembered, I almost died from an allergic reaction the last time I had IVP dye."

    Or better yet, you give your patient a medication and he says after he swallows it, "I think I might be allergic to that drug, I forgot to tell the nurse when I was admitted."

    You drag in to work sick because you don't want to leave your unit short staffed and you get floated.
  6. by   K O'Malley
    Oh yeah, and another common occurence. You call the doc because your patient is horribly confused, agitated, and belligerent. When the doctor gets there to check him the patient is just as sweet as sugar and mind as clear as a bell and he says hello doc! with a big smile on his face.
  7. by   Buddha
    Why is it the last ADMISSION OF THE DAY,(usually at 9 pm) has the most unusual meds in the world. No one in your building has these and the pharmacy won't return your calls.
  8. by   Buddha
    Some of the same:whomever discaharges a resident to my ECF at 9pm is not the doctor on call and you can't read the discarge instructions and no one else can either.
  9. by   Buddha
    The patient who you were told was A&O times three, pleasant and cooperative with staff, has no open areas, and was medically stable at the hospital arrives to the ECF Confused, Combative, with three Stage three's on their coccyx, and just right after I complete my Admission pack they CODE and I send 'em right back to the hospital. Does the transport service mix them up on purpose just to get the return business!!!
    Last edit by Buddha on Apr 1, '03
  10. by   imenid37
    the tireder you are the busier the unit will be. the more you ache the larger and more helpless will your pt. be.
  11. by   VivaLasViejas
    And the larger and more helpless your pt. is, the more often s/he will need to use the bedside commode.
  12. by   Good_Queen_Bess
    The patient who you are doing neuro obs on drops their neuro score and won't open their eyes at all, even to pain. You get the doc and as soon as the doc says, "Open your eyes" to the patient, he wakes up instantly.
  13. by   gwenith
    Originally posted by Good_Queen_Bess
    The patient who you are doing neuro obs on drops their neuro score and won't open their eyes at all, even to pain. You get the doc and as soon as the doc says, "Open your eyes" to the patient, he wakes up instantly.
    Oh Gods do I know this one- and I am good at neuro assessment!

    How come whenever you say something like "I've done so many of these (cannulations, IDC's NG ETC ) I could do it in my sleep that ensures that the next five you attempt will go A up and backwards even though the next person gets it first time!!:imbar

close