Medical Definitions

[GracefulRN]

Ok, yall have probably heard these before, but they made me smile.

Artery - the study of paintings

Barium - what's done if a patient dies

Cat Scan - searching for kitty

Cauterize - made eye contact with her

Coma - a punctuation mark

D & C - where Washington is

Dilate - to live a long time

Enema - not a friend

Fester - quicker

Fibula - a small lie

Impotent - distinguished and well known

Labour Pain - getting hurt at work

Medical Staff - a doctors cane

Morbid - a higher offer

Nitrates - better than day rates

Node - was aware of

Outpatient - when a patient faints

Post Operative - delivers the mail to the ward

Recovery Room - a place to do upholstery

Rectum - Damn near killed 'em

Secretion - hiding something

Seizure - a Roman emperor

Tablet - a small table

Ultrasound - very good music

Urine - the opposite of "you're out"

Varicose - nearby

Vein - conceited

:) :) :)

[Darlene K.]

I've heard these before too :chuckle , but they still make me laugh.

[bbarbie1]

Here's one more, though not funny (sorry). Whenever I see "discomfort" on a description of a medical test, I substitute "white knuckle pain" and that usually turns out to be about right (think flex sig).

[NurseBunky]

I've never heard these but they were hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!:chuckle :rotfl:

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

Cardiology: Advanced study of poker playing.

ER: The thing on each side of your head that you hear with.

Hemorrhoid: A male from outer space.

Organ Transplant: What you do to your piano when you move.

Pathological: A reasonable road to follow.